A Month of Marriage

They said we wouldn't make it, but here we are.  The Wiebergs have hit the one month mark of marital bliss!

The question I got asked over and over the week of our wedding was "Are you freaking out?" Most of the time my answer was, "No. We've talked about getting married for a while" so I really didn't appreciate that question.  Like I hadn't REALLY sat down to think about how drastic of a life change this would be and how commitment is absolutely ridiculous.  Along with that, several people I know that have been married for a while obviously tried to give me their best advice, be funny, and be completely honest with me all at the same time.  Sometimes this didn't work.  Other times it was great.  I've found that most of the things people say about marriage come from being someone's best friend/roommate for 15, 30, 50 years. Since we're not quite there yet, I'll just go off of what I know right now.

What I've learned about myself over the last 30 days is that I'm selfish.  I knew that already, and knew this characteristic would carry over into our marriage, but I didn't know just how much.  The amount of time spent thinking about myself, my comfort, my idea's, my priorities is way more extensive than I thought before I got married. I constantly need to be reminded that someone else's good is more important than my own. Not because I don't matter or that Eric never serves me so I have to do everything FOR him, but because it's better to love him first and above stupid, other crap. We've had some bumps and our share of fights over the past month, and since Eric is the most patient person EVER, he's a good one to watch and learn how to deal with difficult stuff.  I have to remember (just like I did when I was single) that I need Jesus and that bringing Him glory is the most important thing in life. Nothing we face in marriage, in life, will ever be too much for Him to handle with us.  We had a quote from a book by Tim Keller on the back of our wedding ceremony programs:

“The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” 

I haven't become an expert on Eric or marriage during this small amount of days, but I've found these words to be more true and comforting than any advice I've gotten.  I can't do what Jesus can do: be the perfect example of forgiveness and love.  My husband is a big ole sinner. He's cute, but he's a sinner. Being married is certainly not the only way to experience forgiveness, to practice it, and to love through a whole pile of sins with someone. But it sure is a great way to do it.  And Jesus is so good to do it every single day towards me. He is our example in marriage, so I think the Wieberg's have a lot more months to go with each other.