REcreation

My first REAL interaction with a person with an intellectual or physical disability was in High School on a mission trip to Nashville, TN. It was called Mission Fuge, and we spent a week doing several different service “tracks” they called them in different areas. The track I chose was “Sports and Recreation” because, well, I'm me. We went to a middle school every day and played games with youth with disabilities. I remember thinking that’s not what I wanted to spend my week doing because I was SO uncomfortable and didn’t really know what to say or do. By the end of the week, as you can imagine, I was hooked on those kids. That one week isn’t the reason I chose adaptive recreation as a career path, but it did help me get a head start for when I got introduced to Camp Arc in Rock Hill. Working in Rock Hill has been and always will be my favorite job, and working with our special needs adults and kids was the reason I loved it so much. I just never thought I would have as rewarding of a job as I do, and the more I can share about it, the more I hope others will get involved in these people’s lives too.

I love my husband. This guy is my opposite as far as being annoyingly social. I drag him to events with people he doesn’t know, I sign him up for EVERYTHING without asking, I talk to everyone within eye’s distance, and he just stands beside me and deals with it.  I remember taking him to the dance out at Camp Arc one summer. I don’t think he knew quite what he was getting himself into. Fortunately, when you walk into a special needs dance, you are a rock star. Everyone needed to know his name, his birthday, his connection to me, and why he was there. They immediately made him feel comfortable; I had nothing to do with it.  Over time I’ve made him volunteer or accompany me to a million Special Olympics things. He’s even volunteering with the Special Olympics golf program this summer, in which neither of us can swing a golf club correctly. Since the first day I met Eric, I knew he had a big heart. It’s why I married him and why he still puts up with my junk on a daily basis. This past weekend, he led my Miracle League Skills Clinic for me. I asked him for some baseball drills we could do with the kids, since he’s a baseball guy and helped his dad coach a bit in college. Not only did he give me some ideas, he ran the entire thing. He was teaching our kids how to hold a bat, how to not use it as a weapon, and really took the time to explain everything so that they would improve. His interaction with folks with special needs has come a long way in three years and I've loved watching him grow. He had a huge smile on his face when we left the field, not because I made him come out and help me or because he felt like he had to. It’s because he wanted to. He enjoyed it. He was in his zone. He now asks me when my next adaptive recreation dance is so he can be there. I can brag on him all day long, but I won’t, because if you know Eric, you know all this. He’s the coolest.

This is the kind of family I envisioned having some day. With a husband and hopefully kids who see people for their similarities, not their differences. Who see kids as kids. Who play baseball, who dance and sing karaoke, who go to summer camp. I want my family to love Jesus and to love people. This is a good start. And my husband is a good model.

RVA

We've now lived in Richmond for a year. All in all, it hasn't been the best year of my life. I loved everything about my gig in Rock Hill, SC -- my job, my co-workers, my church, my community. I lived there for 11 years and there was nothing special about it as a city. I just grew a lot there, in and out of college, and I was only a couple hours from all of my best friends and family. Moving to Richmond showed me one of the biggest things about marriage. It's about sacrifice. If I had it my way, we would live in Rock Hill forever and I would be the Parks and Rec Director or Mayor or something awesome like that. If we had it Eric's way, we would live in Indianapolis forever and he would be some director at the NCAA. But both of us are willing to give up our "dream jobs" and comfort for what's best for our family. I love him for that. Five months after we moved, I got a blessing of a job and get to work with special needs adults and kids, which are the coolest people I know. I never thought when I moved into Winthrop as a freshman 12 years ago that my sport management degree would take me into recreation and public service but I'm so happy it did. It's an extremely emotional and annoying and tiring job, but I couldn't imagine doing anything else.

Eric and I both know we won't live in Richmond forever. It's not home for either of us and eventually when our own kids come along, we want family to be around. I remember telling him a few months ago when we were talking about that that I didn't want our time here to be a "dry" time for us, just buying our time and not investing in people while we were here. Our Remedy Church family and community was the best we have ever been a part of in Rock Hill and we'll always miss them. The first Sunday we visited a church together we both cried on the way home. Every Wednesday night we had community group and every week my friend Elizabeth and I would hang out together and pray for each other throughout the week. Wondering if I would ever find that again or wondering how long it would take to find that again was a lonely feeling on that first Sunday morning. But then we visited Remnant Church. As soon as we walked in, a couple invited us to their community group that was about a mile from our house on Monday nights. And that's where we've landed. The Cowgill community group has been our family away from our family and friends. And that is the point of the church. To point each other to Jesus, to grow together and love each other (and everyone) with the Gospel. Last week I walked around the lake with Cali and my friend Claire and we talked about these exact things. How moving here was hard for both of us, but how our community has been such a blessing. I look up to the way she loves Jesus, raises her kids, and I have no doubt she prays for me every week. God is good to give me her wisdom and my community here in Richmond.

God isn't good for taking a crappy situation for me and making it better. He's good because of His grace and mercy. Because I've done nothing to deserve anything I've been given. In a tough year, where I've pouted and complained to Him for most of it, He shows me how rich His mercy is, when I don't think He even cares. My growth in the Gospel doesn't depend on the people around me or the city that I live in. He goes with me and He never changes, so everything else doesn't really matter in the bigger scheme of life. When I stop and think about that, about what all I DO have here in Virginia, I have no need to complain.

Our Duke Family

My Mom would've been 47 years old this coming week, on the 18th. My best moments with her have nothing to do with sports, but we are definitely a sports family, especially her. Since I can remember, her favorite team was Duke basketball. She sat on the smaller couch in our den wrapped in her Duke blanket and watched every game as a nervous wreck. As the years went on, she would inevitably fall asleep during every 9pm game, but my Dad kept it on TV for those times she would wake up and ask what the score was. A whole shelf in our den was dedicated to Duke stuff, including Coach K's books, National Championship articles, and all the things our family would give her for Christmas with a Blue Devil on it. I remember Scott and I coming home from school one afternoon to a black Cocker Spaniel puppy sniffing our feet under the kitchen table. Mickey was the newest addition to the family, named after Coach K's wife. She was a great dog, and maybe even a good luck charm as I know they had some pretty memorable teams and a couple Final Fours during Mickey's life. The four of us would agree that some of our best trips we took together was to Clemson for the Duke/Clemson game. We could never get tickets to a game at Cameron Indoor, and Clemson was right down the road, so that was our Christmas present for a few years as kids. It was in January every year and sometimes even a school night but we loved going to see them play.

If you know my sports preferences, I'm more of a football girl, and it would seem that I'm a fan of several basketball teams throughout a season. Marrying a Kansas grad and one trip to Allen Fieldhouse has turned me towards the Jayhawks, and of course, the hope that my Winthrop Eagles will make it to the Tournament is there with passion each year. But Duke basketball will always have a special place. It will always be one of the ways I remember my Mom, staying up and watching every game with her and living to watch them in the Tournament each year. I know if she were still alive I would be calling to find out who her "favorite" player is this year. It's usually the young guy with the baby face or the "best hair." I've started picking a favorite each year, as Eric can tell you. Truth is, I don't think we have any idea why we're a Duke family. Sure, they win a lot, and maybe that's why. I just remember growing up loving the Blue Devils and pretending to be WoJo out in the driveway playing basketball with Scott and my neighbors up the street. We burried my Mom with two things: Scott's football jersey that she wore on Friday nights to watch him play, and her Duke blanket. So I'll probably always cheer those boys on. And hopefully build some fun sports memories with my kids someday too, no matter what team we choose to watch with them.

Please Stop Tweeting

Is what everyone that follows @ktothes is saying right now. Sorry (not sorry) guys. As you ALL know, the Kansas City Royals had a baseball season. They won the American League Wild Card game, three American League Division Series Games and then three American League Championship Series games, making them unbeaten in the postseason. About 6 months ago, the Royals opened up their season in Detroit and lost. They would lose several more games after that. And then several more after that. We all hoped, but I don't think any Kansas City fans really thought they would be going to the playoffs this season. That wasn't news to anyone who has been following them for the past 29 years, though. The Royals had the longest postseason drought of ANY American professional sports team until a couple of weeks ago. Think about the one team in America that sucks REALLY bad. We can all think of one. Even THEY have gone to the postseason since the Royals were there last. I wasn't even born the last time the Royals went to the postseason, and that was when they won the World Series in 1985. My husband, who is the reason for all these social media posts, has never watched them in a playoff game, as he was 1 month old and has been a fan ever since. While he grew up going to the K to watch games, living in the City who loves this team even though they've given it no reason to, I have only adopted them through marriage. My second home is Kansas City, part of my family lives there, and this team has rekindled my love for baseball that I had when I was a kid, doing infield practice with my Dad, wearing my Chipper Jones Jersey.

Over the past 4 months, moving to Richmond, VA hasn't been the easiest transition for us. It has taken us some time to find community and we don't have quite the schedule we did before we moved, where we were busy or working or being social most hours of our week. That has been a hard transition, but it's also been good for our marriage because we actually spend time with each other. So with all of our free time in the evenings, we watch the Royals. They played 163 games this year. The Wiebergs probably watched, in some capacity, 140 of them. Everyone loves a good underdog story, and the Royals are certainly that. But it's not just a "Poor Royals, this is cute" story. It's a small market team that was able to win with very little team salary, no Derek Jeter type of star power, no national recognition. I will never argue with the whole "the Yankees just buy all their wins!" comments because, well, wouldn't you if you had the money? It's just good business. Pay the best players, win the most World Series Championships. But it is a breath of fresh air to watch these little guys win, with their small ball strategy, speed, and a bullpen full of Cyborgs. (Seriously, Wade Davis isn't human). Kansas City has stuck by this team (and their questionable Manager) for years waiting on this. This World Series really is for the fans, so I'm going to keep hash tagging. Let's Go Royals!

From God, For Good

Last weekend I got to be a part of one small day, a few short hours in Avonlea Powell's life.  She was dedicated at Remedy Church last Sunday and it was a great time of rejoicing over her life.  The doctor's told Brian and Melissa that she wouldn't make it to birth, or if she did, she wouldn't make it but only a few hours after birth.  Being born with Trisomy 13, she still isn't completely out of the dark, but she is alive. She's healthy and beautiful and we got to go to her baby shower last Sunday, something that was never planned because of her diagnosis before now.  All day I would look at little 3 week old Avonlea and just say "What?" in wonder at God. Our church is praying like crazy that she makes it to her first birthday, and I'm liking her chances.

Back in the fall, my best friend Erin had a diagnosis very similar for their girl, Hope, but she didn't make it out alive after giving birth at 22 weeks.  This sounds kind of weird to say, but I've never grieved for a friend like I did for Erin the day I found out she had died in the womb. I had never felt weight like that for someone else before.  I wake up every single morning to proof of God's faithfulness, but in the moments when Erin was sending text after text of bad news, I said "What?" in wonder at God. How could He let that happen? My best friend, who is one of the most gospel-loving people I've ever known was going through the worst moments in her life for what seemed like no good reason.

So I've felt two very contrasting sets of emotions over two friends in the past eight months. One little girl got to live, and the other one didn't. That afternoon at the baby shower, Phud read Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God has chosen Avonlea to live for a purpose, while He chose to take Hope for a purpose. And it's all good. Not because He is a God who just gives good parking spaces and helps us pass our tests, but because He's sovereign and sees the whole picture (a better one). And what He chooses to do has nothing to do with us. We'll never work hard enough or fail bad enough to make God decide to work in the ways He does. We don't earn anything that happens to us, good or bad. Melissa's Dad told us that day that someone who has been following Avonlea's story through Melissa's blog and on Facebook said in a comment: "I think Avonlea is leading me to Jesus." The lives of these two little girls sure has gotten me closer to Jesus, it has strengthened my faith in Him and in his really good work. A reminder that we are ALL put here on loan to God. Jesus uses life for his good purposes no matter the length of time we get here on Earth and that's awesome. When I still think about my friends who lost their Hope, it just sucks that they didn't get to keep her. But the Lord has just as many plans through Hope's life as he does for any life: for good.

Check out the awesome life of Brian, Melissa, and Avonlea : www.lovingavonlea.com

When I Lose My Husband (and it's ok)

It starts around the second week of March. I lose my Husband. March Madness is his favorite thing ever. He's a HUGE basketball fan and it doesn't help that he used to work on the basketball staff at the NCAA. This is my third tournament with him, and every day from here until the first weekend in April, we will have a game on the TV, a game on the computer, and he'll be on Twitter, tweeting things that don't even sound like English to me. I do love March Madness, too. The upsets, the Duke wins, the Kansas wins, the bracket challenges. I will be right there with him on the couch most days. He could literally sit and watch every game, back to back, for an entire 2 weeks and be happy. I'm not quite that way, as I have to have other human interaction, go outside, eat. You would think I would say he needs to stop watching what he loves, pay more attention to me, and who cares about a stupid game? But I love that he gets so passionate about it. It's something that he really nerds out about and I think it's cool. He pays non-stop attention to me every day (unless our dog is doing something really cute), serves me, cleans our house, cooks dinner, takes out the trash, feeds the dog, and a ton of other stuff that he doesn't have to do. So when March Madness comes around, I want him to watch every second of it. It's ok that I lose my husband to TV for a couple of weeks. He has enjoyed watching games since he was a kid, and just because he has a wife now, doesn't mean he should care less about it. Kind of like how I will always need to go camping with my girl friends. He's not invited and never will be and it's ok! Just thought I would share this small word about marriage, since of course I am an expert. It's ok that your husband/significant other watches sports or movies or goes hunting or whatever. Mine watches (and actually likes) stupid girl shows with me and my friends while we scream at the TV and then talk about it for hours. That's some love.

The only thing I will make him do is watch Winthrop play in the Women's NCAA tournament against Duke on Saturday at 11. This might be torture to watch women's basketball, but it's history for all Eagle Alumni out there. Bring on the Madness!

A Month of Marriage

They said we wouldn't make it, but here we are.  The Wiebergs have hit the one month mark of marital bliss!

The question I got asked over and over the week of our wedding was "Are you freaking out?" Most of the time my answer was, "No. We've talked about getting married for a while" so I really didn't appreciate that question.  Like I hadn't REALLY sat down to think about how drastic of a life change this would be and how commitment is absolutely ridiculous.  Along with that, several people I know that have been married for a while obviously tried to give me their best advice, be funny, and be completely honest with me all at the same time.  Sometimes this didn't work.  Other times it was great.  I've found that most of the things people say about marriage come from being someone's best friend/roommate for 15, 30, 50 years. Since we're not quite there yet, I'll just go off of what I know right now.

What I've learned about myself over the last 30 days is that I'm selfish.  I knew that already, and knew this characteristic would carry over into our marriage, but I didn't know just how much.  The amount of time spent thinking about myself, my comfort, my idea's, my priorities is way more extensive than I thought before I got married. I constantly need to be reminded that someone else's good is more important than my own. Not because I don't matter or that Eric never serves me so I have to do everything FOR him, but because it's better to love him first and above stupid, other crap. We've had some bumps and our share of fights over the past month, and since Eric is the most patient person EVER, he's a good one to watch and learn how to deal with difficult stuff.  I have to remember (just like I did when I was single) that I need Jesus and that bringing Him glory is the most important thing in life. Nothing we face in marriage, in life, will ever be too much for Him to handle with us.  We had a quote from a book by Tim Keller on the back of our wedding ceremony programs:

“The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” 

I haven't become an expert on Eric or marriage during this small amount of days, but I've found these words to be more true and comforting than any advice I've gotten.  I can't do what Jesus can do: be the perfect example of forgiveness and love.  My husband is a big ole sinner. He's cute, but he's a sinner. Being married is certainly not the only way to experience forgiveness, to practice it, and to love through a whole pile of sins with someone. But it sure is a great way to do it.  And Jesus is so good to do it every single day towards me. He is our example in marriage, so I think the Wieberg's have a lot more months to go with each other.