When's the Deadline?

That is Mark! You've probably heard me talk about him if you've been around me for more than 12 seconds. He is 5 years old and has the best sense of humor of any kid i've ever met. If you asked me if i loved my job, right now i would say absolutely. If you asked me if i wanted to keep this job for the rest of my life, i would have to say absolutely not. I haven't figured out what I want to be when i grow up and i'm wondering, when is the last possible day you have to decide that? When I graduated 5 months ago, i really wanted to change the world. I thought seriously about joining the Peace Corp because what better way to serve people and live adventurous with no Wal-Mart or Mcdonald's for a couple of years. As Christians we all want to go on these mission adventures. I've been telling God since May 10th, "God, if you want me to go to the very last peice of land on the planet earth to live and serve and tell people about the gospel, just tell me and i'll go." The thing that i hate about myself is, why am i not that enthusiastic about Rock Hill, South Carolina? My current job is just as much a missionary adventure as Africa would be. I get to hang out and give as much attention as possible to 16 wonderfully obnoxious kids everyday. And everyday God says, "Take care of these kids." Twice a week I get to leave those 16 kids and coach another 16 different kids in soccer. When i'm there God says, "Teach these kids how to play soccer and encourage them as much as you can. This is what I want from you right now."

In the movie Evan Almighty, Evan wanted to change the world. It was even his campaign slogan. But instead of taking on the world, God gave him one little opportunity to be obedient. He didn't change the world by building an arc, but he did what God asked. So instead of looking into my next job and my future so durn hard and wanting to take over the world, i want to be obedient to the small little responsibility of living in Rock Hill and love on the small little people that He has put before me. And if we could just grasp how big the world actually is, we probably wouldn't want it anyway.

We'll call it...Senior Year!

After I watch a musical I get this feeling of solid happiness and thoughts like nothing in the world could be wrong. I hope that's what love feels like. Ok i know that most of you reading this blog probably don't like musicals. But i think it's because you don't understand them. I'll start off by making the statement that musicals aren't real. I understand that your normal high school cafeteria won't break out into song during lunch. Twice. But the magical thing about musicals is that it takes you out of real life and into a place that is just....happy! Singing and dancing is good for the soul, and you can't say that it's not. They tell a story by music and catchy tunes instead of talking and that is WAY more fun. I loved High School Musical since its debut as a Disney Channel original movie. I went and saw the 3rd one last night, and I haven't stopped smiling. I didn't like it just because I'm a fan, but because it was a REALLY good movie in general. The dancing and the soundtrack and the actors and the colors and everything was just put together so well and it was fantastic. My favorite part of the whole experience I think was how the entire theater clapped after each song and at the end during the graduation scene we all started clapping on beat together. Kids were dancing in the front rows.

Quote of the week:
Me: "Remember when i dropped that cinnamon roll in the oven and it caught on fire?"
Brandi: "You're gonna die."

Thanks B!

Only the curious have something to find

I'm a huge fan of festivals and this weekend i went to the Apple Harvest Festival at Windy Hill. Besides it being unseasonably cold for October, we had a big time. There wasn't much to do, but i think that's the point of a festival. I had baked apple pie and a sippy cup of apple juice. There was an acoustic band and a hayride. And kids and dogs and goats and chickens running around in the pumpkin patch. A festival says a lot about where it's located. In Gaffney we have the Peach Festival every July and our claim to fame is the Tractor Pull. This shouldn't surprise you. I really love everything about the Peach Festival, including Peach Beach and especially the Peach Parade. Rock Hill's Come See Me festival is my favorite thing about Spring in Rock Hill. Cowpens has the Mighty Moo Festival, which i still haven't actually seen anything happen there.

If you were to host a festival, what would it be? I think mine would be a shagging and fried foods festival. There are probably about a million of those in South Carolina, i've never been to one. One day when i'm rich i'll tour the country attending fairs and festivals to see what i can find.

Music and Lyrics

"Music is transferable. Sounds and words and thoughts that were someone else's creation find lodging in your chest. Music speaks of universal things. That's why your lungs swell and your eyes close and you force as much air as possible through your vocal chords whenever you encounter a song that expresses what is your life." "One note can express a hundred emotions, depending on its context. And a single note becomes a different note with a different color depending on the room or setting where it is sounded. It resonates or fades in different ways, bouncing around or dying off. It's thrilling."

David Crowder

I would call myself a music snob for the most part. I HAVE to be in charge of the radio and I don't put my car in gear to drive until the right tune is playing. Though I'm not a musically talented person by any stretch of imagination. I can play just simple worship songs on the guitar and I played the trumpet in jr. high. But music is an important part of my life. Worship music, country music, mellow music, gangster rap. I'm all there. And lyrics. Oh man do I love lyrics. I've always said that David Crowder WILL lead worship in heaven. He is a geneous with words because they go deep and they are based on scripture. That above quote is from his book, "Praise Habit" and I think I could read that book everyday if I had time. The Psalms are my favorite book of the Bible and he goes through some of them in that book. He talks honestly about worship and how it's not to be confined to singing, but music is his thing and it moves his soul and we should let it do the same to us. Because God made it to be beautiful and I'm glad we get to worship with voices and notes and beautiful instruments. I would love to have a conversation with David and just talk to him about where his mind goes when he writes a song. To be that intelligent and that creative and that in-tune with the Lord. I'm just rambling now. sorry.

It just so happens that I have a song that I'm usually obsessed with for about a week at a time. Not necessarily a new song. Actually, most of the time they aren't new at all. Just a song that gets my attention for a while and I can't stop listening to it for whatever reason. I'll try to share them with you each time, just so you can know my opinion. Since you don't get enough of that already from this blog :)

This weeks obsession song: "Sleeping to Dream" by Jason Mraz

An honest look at engagements

Engagements are in the air. There are lots of thoughts and ideas that go through a 22 year-old, single girls mind when every other girl in her life, most of them being younger than her, seems to be getting married. Since I am in fact a 22 year-old single girl, heck, I’ll share mine. Well I’m ok with it for the most part. The close friends of mine who have acquired a ring in the past few months and weeks are all in really good relationships and this makes me happy for them. There is nothing worse in the world than 2 people who are dumb and get married just because together their favorite color is green.

Except for the whole picture of the newly engaged girl holding up her left hand and pointing to it. That profile shot on facebook is a little old. But why do girls get all “I hate the world” when their friends get engaged? Well, im a girl and I can’t accurately answer that question. We have this whole jealousy thing that makes us want everything our friends have. A boyfriend, a ring, a good grade, a pair of jeans, a pencil. We compare everything to everything and weddings mean that your friend the bride is getting more attention than you. The most honest reason us girls want to throw up at the sight of that ring is because if you’re single, you’re single and your friend isn’t. At least that’s my reason, most of the time.

Those are just general thoughts, but how I really feel about this certain time of recent activity is pretty good. The truth is that I don’t know how to love Jesus enough right now, so I need to work on that relationship. I’m not just saying that because saying it makes me feel better about being single. I’ll never ever be able to love people the way I should without loving the one who created them more. And that goes for all human relationships. I may be approaching the “average age” of being married or engaged, but I have a ton left to learn in order to be a good girlfriend, fiancé, wife, soccer mom.

I like weddings, especially when I get to be the DJ! woot!

You need a friend, I'll be around

"People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all, has happened."

-Meg Ryan, You've Got Mail

That's a good movie and I find that to be an honest quote. I have a lot to say on the changing of life and growing up front, but I won't venture into those thoughts for now. I will say how bad it hurts to say goodbye to people. After 7 years of friendship, after a 10 minute phone conversation, or a weekend visit. I just don't like goodbyes. After a much anticipated weekend with Brandy and Ktb and a last church service with a wonderful pastor, I found myself crying all the way home being happy and sad and empty and thankful. This was a feeling I felt very frequently my freshman year when I left Columbia or Gaffney after a weekend with Laura and Erin. When Brandy talks about her new place in life she lights up. She looks content and that makes me so happy. Ktb's new seminary stories are hilarious and she's passionate about what she's doing and I couldn't be more proud of her. Dan and Brenda left church this morning with a burden lifted and leaving quite an impact. Most of the people I have grown to love over the past few years are still away from me and things will only change more as I get older. But Jesus fills me up. When the emptiness comes back, as it did today, He'll cover it and I'm so thankful for that.