A Month of Marriage

They said we wouldn't make it, but here we are.  The Wiebergs have hit the one month mark of marital bliss!

The question I got asked over and over the week of our wedding was "Are you freaking out?" Most of the time my answer was, "No. We've talked about getting married for a while" so I really didn't appreciate that question.  Like I hadn't REALLY sat down to think about how drastic of a life change this would be and how commitment is absolutely ridiculous.  Along with that, several people I know that have been married for a while obviously tried to give me their best advice, be funny, and be completely honest with me all at the same time.  Sometimes this didn't work.  Other times it was great.  I've found that most of the things people say about marriage come from being someone's best friend/roommate for 15, 30, 50 years. Since we're not quite there yet, I'll just go off of what I know right now.

What I've learned about myself over the last 30 days is that I'm selfish.  I knew that already, and knew this characteristic would carry over into our marriage, but I didn't know just how much.  The amount of time spent thinking about myself, my comfort, my idea's, my priorities is way more extensive than I thought before I got married. I constantly need to be reminded that someone else's good is more important than my own. Not because I don't matter or that Eric never serves me so I have to do everything FOR him, but because it's better to love him first and above stupid, other crap. We've had some bumps and our share of fights over the past month, and since Eric is the most patient person EVER, he's a good one to watch and learn how to deal with difficult stuff.  I have to remember (just like I did when I was single) that I need Jesus and that bringing Him glory is the most important thing in life. Nothing we face in marriage, in life, will ever be too much for Him to handle with us.  We had a quote from a book by Tim Keller on the back of our wedding ceremony programs:

“The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” 

I haven't become an expert on Eric or marriage during this small amount of days, but I've found these words to be more true and comforting than any advice I've gotten.  I can't do what Jesus can do: be the perfect example of forgiveness and love.  My husband is a big ole sinner. He's cute, but he's a sinner. Being married is certainly not the only way to experience forgiveness, to practice it, and to love through a whole pile of sins with someone. But it sure is a great way to do it.  And Jesus is so good to do it every single day towards me. He is our example in marriage, so I think the Wieberg's have a lot more months to go with each other.

Weekend Update

These are the 5 most awesome things that happened all weekend:

The NFL started.  Amazing things happened: Cowboy fans (post one win) once again think "they're back", the Jaguars scored 2 points, the Chiefs actually won a game, and those idiots who didn't pick Peyton Manning in their Fantasy Draft lost their first game. (I lost my first game)

Eminem. Remember that guy? I didn't until he showed up during halftime of the Notre Dame-Michigan game Saturday night. Him talking about the game he clearly knew nothing about with two well-known college football analysts was the most awkward thing I had ever seen. Until they showed a clip of his new music (?) video which was then the most awkward thing I had ever seen.

Week #2 is over.  This can only mean that week #3 in college football is upon us. What does that bring? ONE THING and one thing only: Johnny Football vs. himself vs. Alabama vs. the media. I don't know if anyone is ready for this circus of a game.  A&M beat the #1 Alabama team last year in major news and this year they're calling it "revenge" or whatever. Two top ten teams, the most hated/loved (?) athlete in America and the most loved/hated (?) college football program in America all on one field! Also, Johnny Football will have his own personal camera attached to him the entire game. If only that camera could tweet his thoughts as he throws a touchdown pass.

Clemson fans got excited that they beat South Carolina State. 2-0 baby! That win against Georgia, that was good stuff. Good game. T. Boyd is all over the Heisman hype and they're up on the top 25 poles. Just keep beating Duke and Wake Forest, you guys. And if you don't, you'll have tons of other solid stuff to brag about:

@ClemsonFB: Slow wave perfection. One of the many reasons #ClemsonNation is awesome. http:/

Halloween Oreos. The five boo-rific shapes are out early this year. Make your Target run RIGHT THIS SECOND, and you too can feel the first hints of Autumn.  Even if the outside temperature is still 90 degrees!

Keep Calm and Jadeve-ON

That was the best T-shirt I saw all night at the S. Carolina vs. N. Carolina game. At the 6pm kickoff and touchdown three plays later, Williams-Brice was as rockin' as I've ever heard it. But this post is when I discuss something as shocking as Miley Cyrus's latest (musical?) performance....

...but not really though. Don't tell me that surprised you. I saw that meltdown coming as soon as the Hannah Montana series finale happened. 

Anyways. We all know our Rock Hill native Jadaveon Clowney is the MAN right now. From his All-American 13 QB sacks, to Defensive Player of the Year, to "The Hit", he has gotten every Gamecock and really just college football fan drooling with anticipation for 2013.  I think this article in Yahoo Sports, this sentence referring to the famous hit, says what I'm thinking pretty well:

"But that's a once-in-a-career play; it's not going to happen every game. It may not happen ever again. That doesn't mean Clowney isn't the most outstanding player in college football. It just means Clowney is caught between inflated expectations and an even more inflated standard for a defensive player to get an invite to the Heisman ceremony in December."

The Heisman Trophy is all about stats.  That's why you (typically) have super model quarterbacks that can get thousands of yards both passing and rushing while smiling beautifully at the camera with barely any injuries. Nothing wrong with that, I mean that's what it is.  It's just why I don't see Clowney as the winner at the end of it all.  Just his defensive end position puts him at a disadvantage. Last night he had running backs blocking him and it was about 95 degrees. So the fact that all UNC helmets stayed on their players heads, really isn't all that surprising.  Us fans all just need to take a step back and breath. The kid is good and if healthy, will most certainly go round #1, maybe pick #1 in the NFL draft next year. He won't knock players unconscious every snap of the ball, steam won't come out of his helmet, and he won't save babies from burning buildings. I'm not usually wrong, and maybe I will be this time, but I think he's under too much hype to satisfy our cravings. However, as a lifetime Gamecock fan, I won't say it's unrealistic to get completely stoked out of our minds for this season. This is the potential SEC championship year, and if my dreams don't come true this December, I may never see it in my lifetime.  Best defensive player in the country, veteran QB(s), easy schedule, and fans are as jacked up as I've ever seen them. There is no chance of losing a game at home. We have every right and reason to tune in every Saturday if just to watch #7. But I WILL sleep at night if our defense gives up a couple touchdowns throughout the season. Maybe.

The Bachelorette

I have to admit, being single is awesome. I would know, seeing as how I lived it for 26 years. I had plenty of those girl times when I complained about not being in a relationship, but that was probably just because everyone else was doing it.  I just felt left out, really.  When you're single, you don't have to schedule your life with anyone else. You cook for yourself, no one cares if the dishes are done, you kill your own bugs, your bad day only affects you (and maybe your pet), and you can go out with any friend anytime you want or go on girl trips to the beach anytime you want. I went on one of those girl trips to the beach this weekend, but it was because I'm not single anymore. Weird. It's weird that the tradition of the "Bachelorette Party" is what it is. It's like your life is ending and you need one last crazy trip or night out before you get sold into the last form of slavery.  I'm glad this isn't the case for me.  I'm glad that some of my best friends from all different stages of my life wanted to risk their lives to the raccoons and tornado warnings to go camping with me this weekend.  And they did it to celebrate my upcoming marriage.  It was a celebration of a new stage in my life.  Not a bad one, and not some super magical one.  I didn't have an incomplete life before I met Eric, and I certainly won't have a complete life when we get married.  Singleness isn't near as good as my life with Eric will be (that's why I'm marrying him) but it was really awesome. And the cool thing is that the Lord was and is faithful in both and I need Him desperately in both.  If you've spent any time with the different variety of my friends, you know that I will ALWAYS need time with them.  Girl time is this weird sacred thing that we all need in every age and stage of life and can only be illustrated in movies I think. Good thing Wiebs knows this and supports it ;) It was a lovely weekend and I'm beyond blessed to have a group of friends who love and support me as a person and accept Eric as worthy of the rest of my life.  That's just how us girls look out for each other. I'm really thankful for that. #wiebergwedding

Marriage and the Royals

Eric and I learned a ton of cool stuff in marriage counseling with Phud.  We went through Tim Keller's "Meaning of Marriage" and there were things in the book that I have never thought of, things that were hard to swallow, and things that I think me and Eric have a pretty good jump start on.  He did mention this one thing throughout the book that I have noticed recently:

"If your purpose in marriage was to aquire a "soul mate"-- a person who would not change you and would supportively help you reach your life goals--then this particular reality of marriage will be deeply disorienting." 

He's talking about how your spouse will change. Age, jobs, children, everything will change us in some way and the spouse you first married won't be the same person in several years.  We change, and it's a good thing.  At least I hope I get more sanctified, get better at becoming a good wife, be more loving and selfless than I am now. So let's talk about a change that Eric has been instrumental in helping me with: the Kansas City Royals.  I used to not care that much about baseball.  I mean when you got 300 games a season and almost all of them are played during the hours you're at work, how can you follow that?  Well last week, he took me to my first (of many more I hope) Royals games.

And it was AWESOME.  It was a beautiful night (so that helped) and the stadium with all the fountains in the outfield was super cool.  And they won the game, so that was even better.  But why the Royals?  WHY is anyone a fan of this team? That's a great question and I'm not sure how anyone would answer it.  But I like that.  They suck, they don't have any superstar players, and apparently their management is a bunch of morons.  Listening to Eric and his Dad argue about this team for hours has done two things: make me wish I was in a different room when it starts, and really root for the guys in blue and white.  Royals-lovers for the past at least 20 years have gotten no rewards for being a fan.  The team does not pay them back with wins or really any kind of good decision making. But I kinda like being a part of that.  No stress, no pressure, no hiring and firing overnight.  And I like the players.  I like the way Eric Hosmer looks, I like Billy Butler's nickname, "Country Breakfast" and I like Alcides Escobar, their shortstop who I researched and decided to be my favorite player.  I'm partial to South Americans lately. I've mostly been a Yankees fan, and Derek will always have the #1 spot in my baseball heart, but I must say....my really hot fiance has got me cheering for the losers. Maybe it's because I love him so much.

You thought this blog post was about to get deep, right? Sorry, it didn't. Go Royals!

Back the Buzz

Sometimes the world of sports makes me sad.  Lots of corrupt players, money-hungry owners, stupid decision making, lawsuits, horrible injuries.  But sometimes the world of sports makes me want to buy a ticket.  Like when the Charlotte Bobcats disappear, bringing back the epic CHARLOTTE HORNETS.

Ok, before people get all on my case about caring about this too much (aka my fiance who I love more than anything) just know that this isn't world news.  No one cares about this mascot change except children of the 90's, Charlotte area natives, and rappers.  But since I'm all of those things, I care deeply.  No team in the history of teams has ever been worse than the Bobcats.  That orange and navy blue that within the past couple of years has changed to sky blue (I guess to please the UNC fans) doesn't even match.  They haven't had a single celebrity player, not even bobble-head worthy since the name change, and we all know that in the NBA, this doesn't fly.  If Jay-Z isn't your homie sitting court-side at your games, you're a nobody.  And don't even get me started on that mascot.  RUFUS?  Even if the guy were a REAL bobcat, he wouldn't be cool.

But THIS GUY.

I'm not saying bringing back Hugo in all his glory will turn Charlotte into some power house NBA town.  That will certainly never happen in my lifetime.  But what I'm excited about is having the good ole team back. I'm glad Air Jordan finally did something (anything) with his money. If you won't spend money on players, at least spend it on potential cool throwback merchandise.  Us Carolinians loved the teal and purple, the Charlotte Coliseum, and Muggsy Bogues in pinstripes.  They won a sad 20 games in their first season, but sold out 364 consecutive games.  Will that streak of popularity reign again? Will Charlotte be the same NBA town it once was? Maybe not.  I agree that if they don't win games, no one will give a crap about their team colors or mascot.  And given their recent 4th lottery pick in the NBA draft for 2014, they're still losers.  Either way, welcome back to the Queen City, you guys.  This is where you belong and I hope you never leave us again.  I also hope Starter Jackets come back into style. I'm just going to give the City of Charlotte credit for that one, too. If you were cool in the 90's, you know what's up.

How to Plan a Wedding

When I said yes to marrying Eric, that lead to then planning a wedding. Which I knew. The only thing I didn't know is how many shades of red there actually are in this world. Is there any way to get "garnet" to be a nationally recognized color? Because I don't think it is yet.  Anyways, I can't tell you how many people told me to elope on January 16th (the day after we got engaged).  Actually, people are still telling me that.  On August 16th (the day before we get married) I might wish I had listened to them.  But that idea is selfish. This wedding is obvs about me and Eric, but it's just as much about our families and friends who we would be completely lost without growing up in this world.  It's about my 4 bridesmaids who have stood beside me every difficult and ridiculously fun moment of my life, and not just in a black dress on August 17th.  It's about celebrating marriage because marriage can actually be a really great thing, something I haven't always been convinced of.  It's about having the party of the century because, well, parties are awesome and marrying my best friend is a HUGE reason to party for many hours.  So am I stressed about planning this one day? I'd be lying if I said the price of everything doesn't make my heart want to die a little bit (sorry Dad!) or that selecting a venue didn't keep me awake a night or two.  But planning this day so far has been really fun.  Every time I think something or someone is stupid, I just think about the future moment when everyone is dancing to early 2000's Flo Rida songs and I'm cool.  I also have the perspective that marrying Eric has very little to do with one day of our lives.  Pre-marriage counseling, which will probably be a set of more blog posts to come, has really shown me what marriage is and what it isn't.  Very little of it (actually none of it) has to do with this period of being engaged and planning the big day.  This one big day is a celebration.  Not a burden, not dependent on the rest of our lives, and certainly not a fairy tale.  I'm gonna let Disney handle the fairy tales.  August 17th is the day where Missouri and South Carolina eat, drink, and dance in the same room and me and Eric officially start fun adventures.

On the other hand, guys, I'm not dumb.  There will be things I hate about planning a wedding.  I've already experienced some of them.  And a wedding and marriage is a HUGE deal, I'm not trying to make it sound like it's all whatever.  Like I said, Jesus has been teaching us a lot about marriage.  Stuff that will take me years to experience and process.  But for now, my best advice on planning a wedding is to just plan it.  It's a miracle that a day like this comes together perfectly, but it always does.