Vacancy for God

We're closing in on Real Sex, the book we are going through in bible study. It's been a really great study and a fantastic book. Chapter 8 is about singleness and I figure I'll share some of what I thought was interesting...

"Perhaps we ought not fixate on the call to lifelong singleness. Some people, of course, are called to lifelong singleness, but more of us are called to singleness for a spell, if even a very long spell. Often, our task is to discern a call to singleness for right now, and that's not so difficult. If you are single right now, you are called, right now, to be single. Called to live single life as robustly, and gospel-conformingly as you possibly can. The problem comes when the assumption that these are lifelong callings creeps in--panicked single folks think they must discern, at some given age on some given date, whether or not they are called to singleness forever."

"In marriage, it is tempting to look to one's spouse to meet all one's needs. But those who live alone, without the companionship and rigor of marriage and sex, are offered an opportunity to realize that it is God who sustains them. In singleness we see not only where our true dependence lies, but also who and what our real family is. Singleness reminds Christians that the church is our primary family. Baptsimal vows are prior to wedding vows."

The best of both worlds

As my faithful reader, you know that I have done a great deal of growing up lately. I have to like pay all these bills by myself and I have a real 40 hour a week job and I go to bed somewhat early and stuff. Responsibility is crazy. But this weekend I was home in Gaffney and I saw two very fantastic movies. I saw Monsters vs. Aliens with Erin and we were the only people in the theater laughing really loudly. I mean I think the kids thought some stuff was funny, but us 22 year olds just cracked up the whole time. Then on sunday night I saw the Hannah Montana movie and it changed my life for the most part. There's this really fun hoedown dance, Rascal Flatts just show up and sing on the front porch, and Miley and Tyra Banks fight over shoes. It's just fantastic! I walked right out of that theater feeling like a 9 year old girl. And not that I particularly wish to be that age ever again, I just like to be silly sometimes, and finding enjoyment out of things like the Disney Channel helps me keep my brain. But for reals, people grow up too fast sometimes I think. You need to stay up till 3am every once in a while. You need to see a crappy teen movie, and you need to learn a dance to a musical. If not, you'll just wake up one morning wondering where your life went and why it's not fun anymore. I'm not in college anymore, and I sure as heck don't pretend like I am, but I do like to have some fun along the way to growing up. And yes, graduate school is a different type of school and I am fully prepared to realize that it's hard work and I can't goof off like I did for the most part in undergrad. Some people take themselves too seriously and If you are that person, I feel sorry for you. Come over to my house and we can watch Phineas and Ferb because I do have it on dvd. I don't really know where this rant is coming from. Part of it is from the current life of my job with elementary school kids, coaching youth soccer, and teaching the youth group sunday school class. All of those things not allowing me the option of growing up too terribly fast. And the other part I'm certain is coming from the Hannah Montana movie soundtrack.

Jesus

I reckon I'll chat a bit about Easter since us Christians think it's kind of a big deal. I feel as if every year I get really pumped about the resurrection of Jesus and I get down on myself for getting that pumped up once a year. Maybe twice a year, cause Christmas can be popular on that topic too. I always mention how I take the cross and all that it entails for granted and it's true. I do that every single day unfortunately. But when I really think about it, lately, the reality of what happened on the cross has been the most pressing thing on my mind. I haven't neglected the thought or taken it for granted or called it a simple topic. I've been so burdened the past few weeks and months really, about how very much I need it. How the cross is all I have and Jesus' opinion is all that matters and how His direction is all I want to follow. I don't usually wake up smiling and dancing in the mornings and I don't have as many friends here and I certainly feel lonely on a daily basis living at the house by myself. But at the end of the day when work, meetings, soccer practices, hang out time is over I finally sit and God reminds me that He's all I've got. He reminds me that hope for the next day isn't even possible without Him. and dang. That feels good!

Go spread the news, and don't forget your shoes

Good days haven't been easy to come by lately, but I found one yesterday. I just have some really awesome friends who I don't tell often enough how totally rad they are. Thursday nights are always a hoot cause Grace, Kerin and I watch Grey's Anatomy and then join some others for the office after that. We've also made a ritual McDonald's run on thursdays and weird things always happen. The first time we went it took us like 10 minutes to order and the cashier lady got kind of angry. 3 college grads trying to order off the dollar menu. It was hard. Then last week we took a bigger group and we ordered $10 worth of dollar menu items and this time we encountered some static issues over the intercom which you just had to be there to understand. Then last night we decided to go to the new and improved one on Cherry rd. We ordered 6 apple pies and 2 cokes and we sat in the drive-thru parking space for like 32 minutes. I laughed all night. Really I did. My friends make me laugh when I need it that's for sure. Heck even when I don't need it.

Chris gave me a whole box of Dunkaroos as payment for the sticky note parking ticket I gave him. Brandi lets me do laundry at her house. Ktb and Brooke were together in Raleigh and they called me. I had spontaneous dinner with Erica at one of our favorite places. I don't know how I came to have such fabulous friends who are so fun to be around and who make living by myself a lot more bearable than it is.

quote of the day

In reference to Laguna Beach:

"and i didn't realize but they graduated class of 04....tell me that if we are grads with LC, Lo, and Stephen collette then we are so awesome."
-Amanda Mathis

And in the end, the words won't matter

"Grow where you're planted." That is such a cliche christian phrase. To me it means be content wherever God has put you. Yea yea I've heard it a million times and for about 13 seconds per year, I actually think about it and put it into practice. The preacher man touched on that a little bit Sunday and when he finished talking about that little phrase, I thought to myself, "Crap. I really have to do that!" Ya see, in my current situation, if I don't do that now I'm going to be miserable for a really long time and I don't really want that for myself. Most of you know that I passionately HATE having a routine. Going to the same job and having the same afternoon plans and even hanging with the same group of friends ALL the time drives me absolutely nuts. So last week all of that got to me because I had all of those things in a routine and I had pretty much decided to buy a big dog and move to Europe and live in my tent. Every day at work I thought to myself, "grad school is on the horizon. I just need to make it through the summer and I'll be on to something better." And then when I actually got my brain back, I realized that grad school probably won't make me any happier. It will probably just stress me out even more and I'll be ready to move on to my next adventure after writing my first paper. With all of my friends getting married and stuff I think that'll be really cool and that next step in life will be really exciting and I can't wait for that adventure! Well, that won't make me truly happy either. For several months now, I've felt like I'm stuck in this place where I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like everything is just kind of "in between." Well, enough of that. There is no "in betweens" in life. I don't think. The Lord wants me to be content in life, period. I'm not saying that everything in life is meaningless. Just stating the idea that if I'm not content in where I'm at right now, I won't be when the next thing comes around either.

But lets be honest, all that content stuff sucks. Because like every good thing in life, contentment is hard to come by and I can promise you I won't wake up tomorrow singing showtunes on my way to work. But not knowing His plans, yet trusting that they ARE good gets me on the right track to somewhere better. If I go through any part of my short little life waiting on the next big thing, I'll be thouroughly dissapointed over and over and over. No thanks.

Don't be afraid cause I won't keep track

I'm not one to overly complain or harp on a bad day, but when you have just an entire, flat out, no good week, I feel like I need to do just that. First of all it was REALLY long. Most weeks are only 7 days long. I feel like it should be the Wednesday after next by now. We didnt have bible study this week because some of the girls are on spring break. Bible study is a good and encouraging way to jump start the week usually, but I went without it this time. There is a young college-ish band called MyCalvary that lately plays all of FBC Gaffney's youth retreats. I only heard them a few times and the kids in it were all really great as far as I'd gotten to know them over the past couple of years. Tuesday morning Brandon, one of the members died in a car wreck. And even though I didn't know Brandon that well personally, it still hurts me to see everyone in my home church community be torn up and hurt over it all. And it makes me sick to think that he was even younger than me and how he died from something simple that we do everyday like driving. I also think the kids at work knew I was having a rough week and decided to see just how mad they could make me and how far they could run with my patience. And boy were they right on if that was their mission. It was probably the worst week at work yet as far as that goes, and every day got worse it seemed. Enough of that.

On the better side, my soccer team decided on the PIRATES as our team name this season! The Pipeline Pirates. At the end of practice on Tuesday we all put our hands in and yelled a big "Arrrrgh!" How adorable is that? Seriously. My team is awesome this season because, well, they know how to spell the word soccer. They are so much more attentive and they are actually understanding the whole soccer is a team sport concept. It's gonna be good.

Two weeks ago in church, we were singing this song about the Cross and at the end Christabell simply said, "the cross is all we have isnt it?" And that thought has constantly come up in my mind this week. Because no matter how angry or annoyed or tired I am, He is all I've got and the truth of the Cross is way better than everything good or bad about this life. I'm kind of jealous of Brandon.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."

-Psalm 63:3