My heart would rather rip out than obey...

That's a lyric from a song by Paul Wright that I really enjoy and one that I have found to be true for me lately. I haven't liked me this week. I've had a cruddy week for several, very general reasons and it has made me grumpy. I've been working with and coaching small kids for a lot of weeks now and I've found my most obvious observation to be that kids are selfish. Their brains aren't fully developed, so anatomy is to blame for most of this, but they literally don't have the full capacity to think about other people. The truth about the game of soccer is that the most important player on the field is the player without the ball. The player that actually has the ball at any given time is completely innefective without open players on the feild to pass to. It took me a lot of years of playing to wrap my head around that, and my 8 and 9 year olds have no concept of it. When they step on the field, their main concern is the ball. All 18 players focused on one ball and that's soccer to them. Yet even with a fully developed brain, doctor's say, I'm no better than my 8 and 9 year olds. An Andrew Peterson song says, "I cannot trust my own desire, my heart is prone to disobey." The root of so many sins is selfishness. Our human nature is selfishness. When I have a bad day or week, I very rarely stop to think that it's no ones fault but mine. It's usually because several things didn't go my way and my selfishness can't stand it. My heart is so set on itself and it would rather do anything than obey. But God wants something different for me. I love how He teaches. How he always brings out the stuff we dont want to be exposed because it makes us sick of ourselves. That is, if we are willing to face it.

I Hate Everything (but you)

I was bored... Thanks Ktb.

1.Put your iPod or whatever mp3 player or music player you use on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Grace is sufficient

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
It's Christmas

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Time Well Wasted

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
King of Glory

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Everything Glorious

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Your beginning to get to me

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Restless

WHAT IS 2+2?
Falling at your feet

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
All for Love

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mockingbird

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
First Date

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Friend Like That

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
So Long Self

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU
Tango Maureen

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
To make her love me

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Beauty for Ashes

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Since You been gone

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Me and My Gang

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Tequila Loves me

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
There is no one

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Amazing Grace

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
I want it that way

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
When Our Hearts Sing

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Gethca Head in the Game

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
By His Wounds

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Don't Phunk with my Heart

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Blood

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I'm Not Who I was

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Breaking Free

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
I Hate Everything (But you)

A Political Top 10

Top 10 reasons why i love Election Day:

10. Being proud to be an American
9. Wearing my American Flag converses. Now that's freedom
8. CNN
7. The Colbert Report
6. Another year to try and understand what the Electoral College really is
5. No school mostly for those under 18 and can't vote anyway
4. The media actually has something to report on
3.That cool sticker they give you
2. Free food and Starbucks with that free sticker they give you
1. This conversation: (through text message)

Ktb: "I was in the bathroom when Obama won. Good historical moment"
Me: "Dude we have a black President! woot."
Ktb:"haha awesome. Good luck guy."
Me: "shoot i wouldnt want that job."
Ktb:" No way in hell."

When's the Deadline?

That is Mark! You've probably heard me talk about him if you've been around me for more than 12 seconds. He is 5 years old and has the best sense of humor of any kid i've ever met. If you asked me if i loved my job, right now i would say absolutely. If you asked me if i wanted to keep this job for the rest of my life, i would have to say absolutely not. I haven't figured out what I want to be when i grow up and i'm wondering, when is the last possible day you have to decide that? When I graduated 5 months ago, i really wanted to change the world. I thought seriously about joining the Peace Corp because what better way to serve people and live adventurous with no Wal-Mart or Mcdonald's for a couple of years. As Christians we all want to go on these mission adventures. I've been telling God since May 10th, "God, if you want me to go to the very last peice of land on the planet earth to live and serve and tell people about the gospel, just tell me and i'll go." The thing that i hate about myself is, why am i not that enthusiastic about Rock Hill, South Carolina? My current job is just as much a missionary adventure as Africa would be. I get to hang out and give as much attention as possible to 16 wonderfully obnoxious kids everyday. And everyday God says, "Take care of these kids." Twice a week I get to leave those 16 kids and coach another 16 different kids in soccer. When i'm there God says, "Teach these kids how to play soccer and encourage them as much as you can. This is what I want from you right now."

In the movie Evan Almighty, Evan wanted to change the world. It was even his campaign slogan. But instead of taking on the world, God gave him one little opportunity to be obedient. He didn't change the world by building an arc, but he did what God asked. So instead of looking into my next job and my future so durn hard and wanting to take over the world, i want to be obedient to the small little responsibility of living in Rock Hill and love on the small little people that He has put before me. And if we could just grasp how big the world actually is, we probably wouldn't want it anyway.

We'll call it...Senior Year!

After I watch a musical I get this feeling of solid happiness and thoughts like nothing in the world could be wrong. I hope that's what love feels like. Ok i know that most of you reading this blog probably don't like musicals. But i think it's because you don't understand them. I'll start off by making the statement that musicals aren't real. I understand that your normal high school cafeteria won't break out into song during lunch. Twice. But the magical thing about musicals is that it takes you out of real life and into a place that is just....happy! Singing and dancing is good for the soul, and you can't say that it's not. They tell a story by music and catchy tunes instead of talking and that is WAY more fun. I loved High School Musical since its debut as a Disney Channel original movie. I went and saw the 3rd one last night, and I haven't stopped smiling. I didn't like it just because I'm a fan, but because it was a REALLY good movie in general. The dancing and the soundtrack and the actors and the colors and everything was just put together so well and it was fantastic. My favorite part of the whole experience I think was how the entire theater clapped after each song and at the end during the graduation scene we all started clapping on beat together. Kids were dancing in the front rows.

Quote of the week:
Me: "Remember when i dropped that cinnamon roll in the oven and it caught on fire?"
Brandi: "You're gonna die."

Thanks B!

Only the curious have something to find

I'm a huge fan of festivals and this weekend i went to the Apple Harvest Festival at Windy Hill. Besides it being unseasonably cold for October, we had a big time. There wasn't much to do, but i think that's the point of a festival. I had baked apple pie and a sippy cup of apple juice. There was an acoustic band and a hayride. And kids and dogs and goats and chickens running around in the pumpkin patch. A festival says a lot about where it's located. In Gaffney we have the Peach Festival every July and our claim to fame is the Tractor Pull. This shouldn't surprise you. I really love everything about the Peach Festival, including Peach Beach and especially the Peach Parade. Rock Hill's Come See Me festival is my favorite thing about Spring in Rock Hill. Cowpens has the Mighty Moo Festival, which i still haven't actually seen anything happen there.

If you were to host a festival, what would it be? I think mine would be a shagging and fried foods festival. There are probably about a million of those in South Carolina, i've never been to one. One day when i'm rich i'll tour the country attending fairs and festivals to see what i can find.

Music and Lyrics

"Music is transferable. Sounds and words and thoughts that were someone else's creation find lodging in your chest. Music speaks of universal things. That's why your lungs swell and your eyes close and you force as much air as possible through your vocal chords whenever you encounter a song that expresses what is your life." "One note can express a hundred emotions, depending on its context. And a single note becomes a different note with a different color depending on the room or setting where it is sounded. It resonates or fades in different ways, bouncing around or dying off. It's thrilling."

David Crowder

I would call myself a music snob for the most part. I HAVE to be in charge of the radio and I don't put my car in gear to drive until the right tune is playing. Though I'm not a musically talented person by any stretch of imagination. I can play just simple worship songs on the guitar and I played the trumpet in jr. high. But music is an important part of my life. Worship music, country music, mellow music, gangster rap. I'm all there. And lyrics. Oh man do I love lyrics. I've always said that David Crowder WILL lead worship in heaven. He is a geneous with words because they go deep and they are based on scripture. That above quote is from his book, "Praise Habit" and I think I could read that book everyday if I had time. The Psalms are my favorite book of the Bible and he goes through some of them in that book. He talks honestly about worship and how it's not to be confined to singing, but music is his thing and it moves his soul and we should let it do the same to us. Because God made it to be beautiful and I'm glad we get to worship with voices and notes and beautiful instruments. I would love to have a conversation with David and just talk to him about where his mind goes when he writes a song. To be that intelligent and that creative and that in-tune with the Lord. I'm just rambling now. sorry.

It just so happens that I have a song that I'm usually obsessed with for about a week at a time. Not necessarily a new song. Actually, most of the time they aren't new at all. Just a song that gets my attention for a while and I can't stop listening to it for whatever reason. I'll try to share them with you each time, just so you can know my opinion. Since you don't get enough of that already from this blog :)

This weeks obsession song: "Sleeping to Dream" by Jason Mraz