Ireland

As luck would have it, I'm going to Ireland in March. It turns out that I had the most awesome professor for finance class last semester who teaches at Belmont Abbey College in Charlotte. He's taking his Globilization in Sport class to Ireland, and suggested that I come too. I mean how would you sleep at night if you turned that offer down? My semester-wide project in class was to create an organization and in my attempt to be creative and create outside the box, I chose to research surfing organizations and camps and things. The place that we're staying at for the first 6ish days in Ireland is called Adventure Ireland. It's a surf camp/outdoor recreation center type place where the water is 12-15 degrees in March. I don't know why that sounds fun to me, because I hate being cold, but it does. So basically we're surfing and climbing and cliff jumping for 6 days in Donegal and then heading to Dublin to be tourists for the last 4 days. Winthrop is really cool and letting me get class credit for it, so I have to help my professor plan the trip and be an adult chaperone type person. I would argue that having to be somewhat of an adult is a small price to pay to complete a 3-hour course in a 10 day period. My passport is somewhere being processed, my money is being sent off this week, and I got a cute little book of Irish history for Christmas. So let's do this.

Gaffney

I don't know, but I think I should after grad school get my P.H.D in hanging out with a concentration in staying up late. I've had a fantastic Christmas/work/school break.
Although I've been busy. How come breaks are more busy than actual life sometimes?
I love everything and most everyone in Rock Hill, but it's nothin like coming home.
Proof...

quote of the day

After getting engaged...

Erica: "You get to be in a wedding!"
Me: "I've never been in one!"
Erica: "I've never had one!"

quote of the day

Kesler: "We were gonna drive through the Grand Canyon but it was too dark."

Ready...Break!

The last 2 weeks of school really made me consider WHY the heck I went back. I hate studying for a test. I hate going to class when its raining. I hate being so busy because the work seems to never end and you have no fun time in your schedule. On top of that, let's get real, I'm just not a good student. In undergrad I didn't put enough time into my schoolwork and I was far too busy making friends instead of A's. But overall this semester has been different. Ok, maybe not about the friends thing, but I have noticed how studying about what you really love turns from stupid boring textbook into actual learning. All that to say that school and this semester has completely rocked. I have been so encouraged by the girls in my bible study and my roommates and Moe's days with Kalli that even the gross parts of the semester really didnt bring me down. Contentment in the Lord and where He's put me has been the key to all this goodness and being blessed to be a part of a community that is full of Jesus but messy because we're all sinners. As roommates we have grown a lot and been mad a lot and stressed a lot and had so much silly girly fun and I absolutely love living with best friends. Also, I'm ready for a much deserved break as I have worked 3 jobs this semester while making an A in my statistics class without killing myself, thank you.

quote of the day

Grace: "I'm gonna make an acronym out of Mickey's name! Mickey I Can Kill Everyone. Yours, grace."
Phillip: "This is why we can't have nice things."

Janna: "I can't find my phone."
Me: "Want me to call it?"
Janna: "Well its on vibrate in my coat pocket."

Quesadilla WINsday

I've always loved the thought of being a "regular" at a restaurant or bar type place. The person knows your order and can start making it as they see you get out of your car. Well in an unintentional attempt to get fat and die of unhealthy eating habits by age 26, Kalli and I eat at Moe's every wednesday. We've only missed one wednesday all semester and that was thanks to thanksgiving, in which we ate like crap anyway. Turns out, we're regulars at Moe's now. Today we walked in and Ryan got our soft shell ready and added all our toppings without us saying anything. Salsa, cheese, lettuce. On top of that, the guy at the register only charged us $3 instead of the usual $5 or $6. So even though today is crappy and full of tests and rainy, as Brooke would say, "we win."

quote of the day

Movie theater at 10:30 pm...

Laura: "Erica, going up to the make-out row!?"
Erica (jumping around uncontrollably): "I just had to let loose!"

Giving of Thanks

In celebration of those Pilgrims and Indians, every descent blogger who has time should say a few things they're thankful for. Here they are in no order (with exception of the first 2 of course)...

1. Jesus! I'm sayin...if the rest of my life completely sucks till the day I die then He STILL will get all of my attention because the fact that I deserve death but He died for me instead is enough.
2. Family! I'll start off by saying how I have THE coolest parents in the world. They put up with a lot of crap from me in my younger days, and even though I think I've gotten smarter over some years, they still love me and I've never had to worry about a thing. There's no way to ever pay back parents for all the monetary and emotional and physical love they put into a kid, although I sure wish there was a way! The only thing missing in my family might be a dog. Just sayin. *cough*
3. The Disney Channel! There are so many shows that I watch on tv, most of them are trash. And not that the disney channel subtracts fewer of my brain cells, it's just that it's all a nice little break from reality. Sonny with a Chance, starring the dreamy Chad Dylan Cooper has quickly become me and grace's favorite tv show. Also Phineas and Ferb is hilarious and they make any bad day better. They're having a Christmas vacation special on December 11 and i'll surely cancel all my plans for it.
4. Football! It has been such a long season, kids and it's almost over. My gamecocks have won some and lost some and forgot to show up to some games. The Panthers have had their most dissapointing season since 95 but they have supplied me with a few more bucks and for that I'm thankful. I love a good football season at any rate.
5. Gaffney, SC! My good friends band played a reunion concert at fbc gaffney this weekend and not that I had to realize this, but I realized how blessed I was to have grown up in Gaffney. There are a good handful of families from my town who'll be eating thanksgiving with an empty chair this year, but our community is better for that fact. It's a good thing that everyone knows everyone and that when death happens, our town can celebrate life together. During the concert I just had to thank Jesus for knowing what it means to go HOME. Not everyone is lucky enough to know what that means or they imagine what it must feel like but dont get it.
6. Zac Efron! watching him on Letterman right now and hot dog. Thanks, Jesus.
7. My brain! WHY am I literally the only person on this planet that still has one? well, there are a few others who are exceptions, but all in all, I'm the only person that makes any logical sense anymore.
8. Duke basketball! atleast somebody can win.
9. Swine Flu vaccines! I got mine and that disease wont ever bring me down!
10. The Cabin! There's a lot of love up in here. Us 3 residents laugh a heck of a lot and we do nothing but watch the Hills and the City and eat pizza all the time. It's true, though. As far as me goes, all school work must be done outside of this house, otherwise it doesn't get done. Lots of people come over all the time and good conversations and bible study sessions happen. Also, we have a Charlie Brown tree and a real tree with real lights in front of our window. Beat that.

Me vs Vampires

If there is one thing I've learned in the world, it's that I can't win the fight against stupidity. I have several upon millions of examples, but I'll use Twilight. Despite the terrible acting, 3rd grade writing, and the unpleasantness of vampires, this fad is blowing up the world. I'm completely in love with Harry Potter and I'll spare you all of my thoughts on why I think they are different. But they are. For example, Harry Potter took some thought to write. Anyways, upon the arrival of New Moon in theaters, I want to throw up. But I'm not gonna. I might even watch them if ever the time comes when I don't have to pay for it. I hate people who hate books or movies or tv shows or songs just because they are popular. I mean what's the point in that? If a song makes you tap your toe, dang it, listen to it. I don't ever want to be that kid, it's just that with Twilight, I hate the idea of a vampire being in love with me and stalking and protecting me like a creeper. That's not attractive. But look on the bright side, haters of culture. The world won't get any smarter but soon it'll be old moon and no one will care. Better days are ahead.

Noddin my head like yea

One of my dear friends, Kalli, had her 21st birthday party this weekend and let me tell you how much I love that girl. She moved into my life as a young 18 year old when I was a young RA, running the 2nd floor of Phelps. Not all the girls on my hall were jewels, let me just tell you. But me and Kalli were pals from the first moment we realized we had the same wardrobe. Later on we realized we both wanted to be rappers when we grew up. I was pleased to hear that her birthday celebration was a thug party and now I want to always dress like a thug because it's really comfortable. We got home and went straight to bed cause we basically had our pajamas on. The sentimental part of this story is me mentioning how much I love to see people grow in my life, it's a really cool thing. I met Kalli on her first day of college and I can't wait to see her graduate in May and that is just a gift from Jesus to have friends like that, ya know? I have lots of friends who I've seen grow over short and long periods of time. I just like it. I would say I feel like she's my kid and I'm proud of her but that's awkward and she acts more grown up than me a lot of times.

Something you should know about you

Lately (this weekend) I've been thinking a bit about heaven and hell. The judgement house that I went to on friday night with the youth group was pretty cheesey with a few scary parts, mostly hell was scary. It didn't make me question my salvation, rather, it got me thinking about the state of heaven and hell. I mean I like to joke around about them both. You've probably heard me say things like in my version of heaven we'll all eat chicken fingers, David Crowder will lead worship, and the gamecocks will win every single game eternally. Perfection for me. I also describe the devil as being sunburned and wearing an orange t-shirt with a huge tiger paw and everyone eternally sucks at football. Scary. As we all talked about it for a bit in bible study, I got on a mini rant and said how I cant wait for everyone's attention to be on Jesus. I can't wait for the focus to stop being on ourselves. My serious side beleives that I wont care about anything else when I get there because I'll finally get to kick back with Jesus. Us Christians won't be seeking attention from anyone else or for any reason ever again. Only Jesus will matter and He'll get the eternal attention and glory he deserves. Man does He deserve it. I'm reading through a completely rad book called "Don't waste your life" by John Piper and in chapter 2 he talks about glorifying God and delighting in God and what that means. He talks about how alot of people ask, "Why would God be so concerned with us if the universe is so huge?" I mean we are so insignificant compared to all the galaxies and stars and hugeness floating out there beyond us somewhere. But Piper says, "Beneath this question is a fundamental failure to see what the universe is about. It is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man." Holy crap. I've never even thought about that, because when I think about the greatness and bigness of God I always think about it in terms of myself. Dang it. It's like going out to the Grand Canyon but instead of getting to stare at all it's beauty, we get to the top and get put in a room full of mirrors. Wouldn't that suck? You are small and you want too much attention for yourself. That's what God thinks sometimes. In heaven we won't focus on ourselves or people. Jesus will be too much awesome to even handle. bring it.

People

I love community. Love talking to people, listening to people, praying together, laughing together, singing together. I love the whole package. But even with all the beautifulness of Christian community, it sure can get annoying. In my opinion, if you aren't building up the people around you, if you're not helping the people around you become better people, then I think whatever you're doing besides that is pointless. Maybe sometimes among my group of pals I come across as the "mom" and i get way too defensive when it comes to my friends and the decisions that they do or don't make. I have to be careful because through that sometimes I seek my own self-righteousness and the feeling of proving to the world that my point is right. I really think that in Christian community, you not only have the responsibility of helping your pals grow and be better, but also you must listen to what other people say, people that you trust. It's not always about dishing out the advice or calling out the wrong actions. It's also about learning from each other and listening to each other. We Christians are pro's at sitting and hearing preaching from the preacher dude or listening to Godly wisdom but then walking right out the door like we never heard anything. Change and growth needs to happen to follow Christ. Following is an action. When you're following someone, you don't just stop halfway through and say "screw it, I'm gonna still do my own thing." Why? Because you'll get left. This annoyance isn't just something I thought about on the ride home. It's in fact the peak of my frustrations at the current moment. I get frustrated with community when I see us not acting according to the gospel. And I'm not Jesus in this story. If anything I'm a selfish pharisee who gets told what to do by Jesus but calls it whack and continues down my own road sometimes. Talking about these things within the given community helps. The good word tells us to seek out our pals and chat about what's up (not exactly in those words, but you get it) But I don't know what happens when the person won't listen. I haven't figured out that part yet, readers. Most of the people I roll with these days are younger than I am, and me and Jesus have had our own set of battles with solely that sentence. But what i feel called to be lately is not the 23 year-old know it all, but someone who builds other people up. No matter what the age. We are called to love our neighbor and unfortunately we dont get to pick who that is. So younger or older, God wants me to help my friends be better people if I can, and hopefully we'll all mature in the way that God defines maturity. And I pray really hard that that is the the goal for others so that they can build me up and tell me when i'm wrong when i screw up. Community that is worth anything does not function without Jesus. It simply can't and won't. And I'm a firm beleiver that He would call us to build up and listen to each other and love each other deeply, and help to change each other. Just a thought.

The Bronx be ballin!

For those of you who don't know or don't care, the Yankees are going to the World Series! I was telling my mom the other day how it just doesn't pay off to live around here and be a sports fan sometimes. Carolina Panthers, Carolina Gamecocks, Clemson (admit it orange fans, yall don't win championships) and Atlanta Braves. They all for the most part suck from year to year and that's ok with me, I'm a faithful fan. But the baseball t-shirt that I rock on a warm day reaches far beyond this region, for I am a New York Yankees fan. Calm down, I know the yankees spend more money in one day than you or I will ever see in a lifetime, but hey, you gotta spend money to make money. And don't you dare tell me that the Red Sox don't spend just as much money on their players because I've looked it up, they're almost equal. That goes for all of the big market teams in America. Los Angles, Boston, New York. Those cities are rolling, so it makes sense that their sports teams would cash in too. No matter what the managing strategies may be, the Yankees are a legendary team with some crazy winning records. Derek Jeter is my favorite player of all time and he has been ever since I started playing shortstop in coach pitch softball as a youngster. Those were some good days. I reckon he's the only reason I became a fan, but now I hate the Red Sox so much that I could never go back. Be happy for me, because no team of mine ever wins games much less goes to any sort of game that means something.

And now for the quote of the day, and the reason why I love working in the physical education department...
Student: "Did the Jets win yesterday?"
Dr. S: "Yea 38-0. We played the Raiders, so we were basically playing a high school team. But we won."

quote of the day

Me: "why do all of taylor swift's songs talk about kissing in the rain?"
Brittany: "text me through the phone!"
Grace: "why can't we just kiss inside where the weather doesn't matter and we won't have to call long distance?"

quote of the day

You had to be there...

Erica: "I caught a cricket in this bag."

I just dont know what's so appealing about a jacket. I mean fall is colorful and chilly and crisp air and whatever, but I don't want it if it's going to rain like this. I think it's been raining like 13 out of the 14 days in October. I'm probably offending all 1% of you who read this, but pumpkins and crunchy leaves just aren't cool enough for me to give up my allegiance to summer. I might change my mind if south carolina wasn't so weather challenged, and seasons actually existed. Oh but we try to make them exist when it turns 65 and we bust out our flip-flops in march and our jackets in september. But that's enough about the weather. Have a good fall break, peeps. Don't drown.

These are my people

It is far too late for me to be awake and putting thought into anything, but I just want to say how much I love people. Sometimes I get in this mood where I feel like I'm too "mature" (whatever the heck that means) to hang out past 11:00 with freshman and be completely silly and walk around campus meeting new faces, but that thinking is wrong. I'm not cool. And speaking of cool, Brittany S. and Rebecca (2 newish friends) came over to our house tonight for pancakes and straight up did the dishes that were piled up in the sink! Just walked in, had a pancake, and started doing the dishes for no reason. Doesn't that make you want to thank Jesus for life and be in a musical while wearing yellow? It makes me want to do all those things, man. I looked around our front porch tonight and realized (not that this is anything new to me) that I hang out with some truly beautiful people. Adorable people. People who have some good good hearts inside of them. Flawed people. A type of community that I know I just can't go without. We weren't created to go without it I don't think. Yes lord, tear it up.

Don't Stop Believin'

True story: Almost every night since I started grad school, I've had trouble going to sleep becuase im excited about something that the next day is about to bring. I know that's completely cheesey, but it's the truth. I've been having a great time and every single day of this semester so far has been fantastic. And then this week happened. I knew it was going to come. The week where everything about the world sucks and I want to just pull my hair out. I'm really not trying to be dramatic here. I talked to an atheist last night. Well, it was more like an atheist talked to me last night. He asked all the questions that I should be able to answer as a Christian, and I'm pretty sure my responses sounded like I'd never read the Bible in my life. I had no idea what I was talking about really. To give me an ounce of credibility, he was a bit on the rude side and just wasn't open to anything I said. So that made life tough. But after leaving that conversation, I immediately started feeling like I have my entire life whenever I lost a soccer game. In soccer I was constantly frustrated with myself for not playing well, not scoring a goal, for letting my team down. I had that exact feeling and I HATE it, I've always hated it. Evangelism isn't some competition where I'm the team captain. Unlike soccer, it shouldn't be based on how I perform. It should push me to be convinced of what I believe. To understand more than the feel-good parts of the Bible. To learn a bit about how to talk to an atheist because I have to know. The grace that He gives is so good. To know that the Kingdom doesn't start or stop with me is good.

In other news, I'm completely in love with the new tv show, Glee. There's singin and dancin and loser high school kids and everything I could want in a new tv show. Like I have any time left to devote to watching more trash tv. Oh well.

Party in the U.S.A

I sometimes hate admitting (but not so much) that I keep up with the pop cultural parts of the world. I'm able to hold quite an extensive conversation with you about new movies, hot actors, new tunes, and the disney channel. I also like to have my opinion on all of these topics and share them with fine folks such as you. For example, my patient roomie Grace and I watched several movies this weekend. It was raining, what else are we supposed to do? My first movie review is FAME. Good Lord, go see it. Mostly females, go see it. It was a musical type of flick so of course I was in love. Like I need to be in love with one more male who can sing and wear plaid. I just totally dig talent, and when a boy named Marco sings and plays the piano to a song he wrote, I just can't help but fall in love. So yes, it was a great movie. The second movie review is for LOVE HAPPENS, and that review is a little different. I liked it. I love Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston, but the movie was quite depressing until the end. I reckon that's what I get for seeing Fame the day before.

Music review: currently playing in my ipod is of course the Fame soundtrack and David Crowder's newest called Church Music. There are only a small handful of songs I like on Crowder's album, but that man's lyrics just tear it up.

Oh and The Hills starts back this week. Trash TV Monday, it's good to have you back.

And it's quite enough that we are loved

Myself and a lot of my homies seem to be struggling with this topic it seems, so sit back and let's chat about it. It's fun for Christians to figure out how much time we are giving to God and ask how much is "too much" or "too little". I don't have the answer for each and every person, but I've looked at my own life and schedule lately and I've come up with the notion that it's a heart issue. With Jesus, it's always a heart issue. He cares more about our hearts than our watches, our wallets, or the dirt on our hands. I took on the task of leading a bible study and discipling a girl before I knew what grad school had in store for me this year. Now that I'm a month into it with work piled to my ceiling, I wouldn't have said no to those things even if I had known. Sunday night bible study is my favorite part of the week. I love playing the guitar for cru even though I'm technically not some cool "leader" and I'm not as involved as I used to be. This outlook on it all is of absolutely no credit to myself. What I've learned is that what Jesus requires of me is my life, and this includes ministry in some form. It means being a part of and involved in a community through a church. It means doing well in school. It means working as hard as I can at my job. It means serving my roommates. It means having my own time with Him each day. And anything else I can think of. All of this takes energy and time. But as Tim Keller so awesomely put it, "...we won't mind the cost of following after Christ when we compare it to the price he paid to rescue us."

Does all this mean I have to be "Super Christian" walking around all the time, sharing the gospel with every squirrel that I pass on campus? Nope. It means simply living for Jesus, in the most real sense of the phrase. Not counting up the hours spent on ministry activities, because I can promise you Jesus does not care. Besides, I'm aware that I'm a screw-up and nothing I ever DO will impress Him anyways. I reckon that's the reason He cares more about my heart.

quote of the day

Me: "If I could rid the world of one thing it would be Clemson. It's just too much orange."
Amanda: "Yea, Stacey and Clinton would not approve."

Laura(referring to the football game): "That guy just hit that guy."

quote of the day

Kevin: "I think I wanna sky dive on my wedding day."
Laura: "but what if you like, died?"

a goat

While eating quesdillas, a good friend asked me, "what do you want to accomplish this year?" I don't remember what I told her. But in the interest of your time spent reading this, I'll share what I think is the answer. I'll first share about the fact that the parable of the prodigal son has come up close to every single day for about 3 weeks. Both speakers at FCA have talked on it, and my Bible study is going through the book, the Prodigal God by Tim Keller. One of the guys at FCA made a good point about it, something different that I hadn't heard. He focused in on the line said by the older brother,"Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends." You never gave me. The Father gives us literally EVERYTHING, yet we respond in selfishness. It circles back around to what I want to accomplish this year, that being a decrease of myself. Having more of a servant attitude in particular. My problem of too much ME comes from my focus, and routinely my focus is not on serving. But like so many other things Jesus calls us to do, its not simple. Serving as an action focuses on Me, but serving as an act of worship focuses on Christ and that's the one I'm going after. This humbling thing has been a theme lately and I know exactly why. I dig it.

quote of the day

Erica: "Describe one way life is different from today."

what?

quote of the day

Brandi (text message): "I have decided to become a Panthers fan. Since I know nothing I will need assistance."

Friendses

Labor day is stupid here at Winthrop because they beleive in labor. But in the spirit of fighting crime, Laura came up to visit for the afternoon and brought her wonderful pet maycee! This, folks, made my heart the happiest it could be. I do love the company of Laura and Erica while getting a free chicken sandwich, but mostly i love walking a dog around campus on a lovely day. I get all pumped when Laura or Erin or Erica is around because I still can't get over how completely rad our friendship is. I don't think that feeling will ever go away and that is ok. The Lord is beautiful and I see it through those 3 girls often. Sorry to get all sisterhood up in here, but I just had to give props in the area of rediculous friendships. We're cute, too.

Come Down to the River

A lot of times I want to grab Christians by the face and tell them that what Jesus did was and still is enough. Tell them to stop worrying about relationships that are or aren't happening, the money that they do or don't have. I want to tell people that the gifts they haven't earned aren't for them anyways. That the church isn't about them. That participation in the good things doesn't get you even a step closer to salvation. If you ask me one thing that I've learned within the past year, it is definetly the thing that I guess I was "supposed" to have learned a long time ago. I've spent quite a bit of time in Luke over the past year. I've noticed that the Pharisees tried too hard, the disciples just didn't get it, and that what's at God's heart is usually different than what's at mine. I've also noticed that God is in control of you and me and everything else and nothing will ever ever change that. I'm pretty sure that the main reason I didn't go into full-time ministry like I had considered several times is because we rarely get it right. Not saying that people who are in full-time ministry are lacking something, cause they definetly are not. I reckon ministry, to me, is a Tuesday. It should be a normal everyday occurance that's not perfectly thought out or planned or carefully evaluated at the end. Nor should it have a hint of ourselves in it. It took me leaving college, where ministry was at its peak, to realize that. I've really looked at how Jesus hung out with the people on the other side of the tracks, the sinners, the people who seem to be lost and messed up. I noticed how that is me. For all the moral things I've accomplished in my life, I see that it's gained me nothing. And that, my friends, if anything should be a burden to me. After learning that I suck at just about everything as a Christian, I see that that's just the point! Jesus and what he did is enough. Nothing else required. Maybe real maturity comes when you wake up everyday still realizing that you're thirsty. We can't accept His grace if we never believe that we need it. cool.

Something Beautiful

If you are one of those people who lies awake at night asking yourself, "what should i do with my life?" or "what should i be when i grow up?" then boy (or girl) stay tuned because I, as usual, have the answer. The answer is simple and uncomplex. It is the thing that makes your heart swell up. It's the thing that for whatever reason your insides were wired for. It's the thing that God points at and says "Do this! Because I made you this way and it will make me happy when you do." I realized this my freshman year in my sport management 101 class. I realized it for the second time with intensity tuesday night in my finance class. I got my first assignment of the semester, and I have to create a sports organization. We have to create the mission statement, the facility layout, the budget, the organizational chart, the whole gig. I set out to be different in the one I selected, so when I asked my totally wonderful professor about the topic of surfing, he threw his hands up in the air and told me that he surfs in Ireland. First of all, no one on earth is that cool and second of all, what other bit of education requires that you write papers on surfing or golf or soccer? Every other major sucks compared to mine. Sorry about the bad taste that truth leaves in your mouth, but thats just how it is, people. Just this whole idea of what my major entails thrills me. Now that you, faithful reader, have figured out what makes your heart beat at night, go out and graduate into life with a grin.

Also made friends with 3 of our neighbors today. community rules!

quote of the day

Props to those who've made my week with words. Keep it up, kids.

Bickell (with hot australian accent): "I thought someone was gonna kill him!" "I thought it was gonna be me!"

Jonathan: "Welcome to twitter!"
Me: "Thanks! I have no idea what i'm doing though."
Jonathan: "It's simple. Think about what you're doing. Then tell twitter."

Me (in the youth sunday school lesson): "What does it mean to have the Kingdom of God within us?"
Kristin: "It tells us we should act better."

Pastor Ken: "So...who else likes the greatest thing ever, called football?"

Wild Wild West...Center

I would give graduate school a high five if it were a person. The whole thing just makes sense, ya know? Especially when winthrop's paying me to get a better job and get payed more cash when I leave. Not that money is my driving force, because if it were I wouldn't be going into sports. I realize that I'll probably regret typing every word of this here in about 3 weeks. But as of my homework free life right now, I am satisfied. After several days of switching my schedule around I've finally settled into a quantitatvie methods class in the business school, which was never in my plans. But 2 of my profs I had in undergrad said I didn't need to take their class because I would just be doing the same things. And I got A's in those classes, so I'm not doing that all over again. A compliment but also an inconvenience because I already hate any class with the word quantitative in the title. But I'll make it happen. My favorite portion of this whole idea is working with the sport management faculty. That's where it's at. Right now I've been doing the usual intern type things, but soon I get to teach class with them and do research for a sports business journal and suck up to them so they'll give me a job in 2 years. I would also just like to point out how awesome of a major I've selected for myself. Nothing against my philosophical peeps who have to read 50 books that have no conclusion, but my junk is just interesting. I get to read about lawsuits and how to organize and manage staff and how to make a budget. Stuff that actually happens, its cool. At my GA "desk" there are 3 little cartoon clips taped to the printer that are about health and PE and are supposed to be funny but they aren't really. Nerds. So my overall analysis is good and I think the coming years will be splendid if I don't lose my mind somewhere in the West Center. Until then, peace out social life.

A note about sports

Football season is my jam. You know me. The goodness kicks off on September 3rd with the Panthers playing the steelers and Carolina playing NC state. I predict a big loss for the Panthers and a big W for the Gamecocks. If you disagree in any way with my selection of favorite teams, no worries. I don't trash talk. Unless of course you're a clemson/unc fan in which case I hate you and will always talk junk. I pride myself on being a very realistic sports fan. That means that I take a good look at my teams and if we are going to suck then I swallow your pride and admit it. Carolina is going to suck this year, I'm used to this people. It's just that we can't get a dang quaterback that coach Spurrier will leave in the game for 20 minutes at a time and who isn't a criminal. On the Panthers side of things is the same tale. As much as I love sporting my Jake Delhomme jersey on Sunday afternoons, I think his time has run out. He's just not the same quarterback as he was the year I wanted that jersey for Christmas. Our star player, Steve Smith is out for a while and that hurts too. I'm working for the Panthers again this year and while last time I was in the ticket office wasting away while the game was going on a few feet from me, this time I get to be inside the stadium. I get to deal with cold, crazy, possibly drunk fans who get mad when Jake fumbles. And friends, that might be often. But I get to go to all the home games and cheer on my team...I mean, work. I'm gonna own them some day and if you read this blog, you might get season tickets.

Jesus is a friend of mine

A week ago from this last Sunday, Brittany and I lost my frisbee in the ocean. I threw it and she didn't catch it and I reckon a wave ate it because we never saw it again. My throw was uncatchable and that's why she missed it. But when she came back from home this week, Brittany had me a brand new frisbee, exactly like the one we had lost. And I promise I didn't lose sleep at night thinking about this, but that small little giving of a frisbee reminded me that I don't deserve a single thing I've been given. I haven't earned anything. And on top of that fact, whenever I mess up it's my fault. I know I'll spend what's left of my life trying to figure that one out. To know Jesus is to understand that I'm a sinner and that I'm forgiven all in the same sentence. It's important for me to understand both because knowing I'm a sinner keeps me humble and knowing that I'm forgiven gives me a point to waking up in the morning. I don't share these things to be all inspirational and right. I share because its what I'm learning as I grow up. And I gots a long way to go, yo.

Oh yes, I'm following your joy

The summer wedding tour is officially over. I have no more weddings scheduled in my scheduler. I have found that I've completely underestimated my summer in lots of ways. I thought that it would be completely boring and void of friends, but such is not the case at all. I've been 1,000% busy and I've seen lots of things, traveled lots of miles, and done it with people who are just awesome! I'm completely exhausted and for the first time in a very long time, I wish to have an extensive amount of time to myself. As far as weddings go, I thought I would be completely rediculous and sad and jealous of all these marrital hook-ups. As it turns out, I could probably hold off on the whole planning a wedding thing for a good 2 years. atleast. Not that I haven't enjoyed the abundance of white people all summer, because I definetly have. I'm also very pleased with God's way of bringing my good friends together in marriage. But weddings are stressful I see. I've learned so much this summer about what it means to be single and what it means to be passing through this stage of life as a 23 year old. The world (ok maybe just the south) says this is a perfect time to get married. I've learned to be ok with letting Jesus be in charge of that. I'm ok with Him putting His timing on my turn. I'm single today. Tomorrow may be different. And that's how I choose to perceive it every single day. I've also perfected the electric slide, learned how to catch the bouquet if I really want it, and that gift cards really are the best gifts.

Britt and I surfed this weekend. I was so frustrated because the waves were rough and you could barely get out to the deep part. When I finally caught a wave, I could only get on my knees. I completely busted up my right knee and I'm currently limping like a fool. I have this huge bruise on my side where the board jabbed me. And it was shark week. But on my last try, I stood on the board with one foot and then my other foot slipped me off and I wiped out. That ONE time I got up for like .3 seconds made my violent day of surfing completely worth it and I can't wait to do it again. It was rough, but the GOOD outweighs the bad. I like that.

Sunburn SUCKS, too. If in hell all you do is get sunburn for eternity, then thank God I'm not headed there. really.

Fact.

A 20 oz. Coke has the same amount of sugar as 6 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I never believed that until I googled it this morning. dang yo.

For Beginners

That is the title of a song by M. Ward, who Stephen just recently introduced me to. It’s a really great song, and the words and the title makes me think of this week, actually. This past week was Beach Camp week. Beach Camp is the week long retreat that the youth group at First Baptist Gaffney takes every summer to Garden City Chapel. The week of my birthday, every year. 8 years ago, going into the 10th grade, my best friend Laura talked my Mom into making me go to beach camp (Mom payed for me without me knowing. Thanks Mom!) and I walked right up in there with my King James Bible in hand, not having a clue what I was about to get into. I came back knowing and loving Jesus and wanting more of all that that week had to offer me. It sounds cheesy I know, but when something like that changes you the way it did me, those certain places and people just stick with you. Through several beach camps through the high school and college years, I learned how to worship, how to have alone time with God, and what fellowship looked like. The coolest thing about this story to me is that I remember clearly what it was like to not belong to Jesus. That version of me sucked and I never want it back. When I think back to that particular summer, I think about how different I was when I came back. I acted differently, I talked differently, I played sports differently, I treated people differently. I liked being a beginner. Someone who had just been transformed eternally.

Jason Mraz has a tattoo on his arm with the word “beginner” that he got when he started surfing. He noticed in surfing how beginners have more fun because they can never tell whether or not the waves are good or bad that day. He says beginners love regardless of condition. Beginners are humble and just enjoy being wet. They love UNCONDITIONALLY. And all that’s just cool. Every year during this time, still, I think about how the Lord saved me. I think about what that felt like initially because I remember it so well. Everything was so new and different and I wanted to share that with anyone who was breathing the same air as me. What all this means for me 8 years later is that I want to always have that beginner attitude. For my relationship with Jesus to be about learning MORE. Learning more of the Bible, more of how Jesus acted and thought and taught others. hmmm.

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

When something crazy happens in your life, you have to blog about it right? Otherwise, what good is this thing if not to entertain others with your stories of adventure? So. The long awaited Jason Mraz concert rolled around last night and I'm pretty sure it was against God's will that we attended. Monday night Britt and I realized we hadn't actually purchased the tickets, even though our facebook status told the world that we did about 2 weeks ago. Luckily the 4 we needed were still available. He was playing at this new place in Charlotte called the Music Factory and it was really really cool. The only problem was that it was an ampitheater which almost always means that the night of a concert it MUST rain. And oh boy did it rain on us! The heavens opened up, lightning struck, and about 3,000 people were up under the metal roof of the concession stand. This stretch of standing lasted for about 2 hours until G. Love and Jason decided they would move the concert inside and do an acoustic show for people who wanted to wait it out by getting even more wet and forego their refund. We then stood in yet another line with the millions of biting fire ants while the second round of storms came through. By the time we finally got into the building, they apparently had only let 1800 people inside. The music finally all started at 11:00pm. I'll just get to the good parts though: Jason Mraz is fantastic in conert. His voice is even better live than it is on any album. So smooth and wonderful that Erica fell asleep standing up. I also realized last night that I actually do have a favorite song! Not just a favorite song of Jason's, but a favorite song in my world. And that song is "I'm Yours." I would be lying if I told you I wasn't getting a little tired of it after a while thanks to the radio. But I've decided that it is in fact my favorite song. And what better person to receive such a pointless honor than him. Happy Birthday to me, thanks Mr. A-Z!

Dear Friends

Please stop getting married right now. I just can't go to another wedding. The Culotta wedding this weekend made my 6th wedding of these summer months and number 7 is the weekend after next. I've realized over the past few months that I really do enjoy weddings. Most people would prefer funerals, but I really like weddings. Free food and cake and lots of dancing and getting all pretty to get your picture taken a lot. invite me. But right now after a weekend traveling to Chapel Hill, a long week at work, and then a weekend traveling to Florence, my body just physically hurts. If you want to get married in my living room, I'll be there. But other than that, I just can't do it. I want to sleep late in my own bed and I want to spend a weekend in shorts.

On the exhausted topic, I took care of 9 dogs this week. 7 puppies, one monster dog, and one dog that is small and annoying and wouldnt go to the bathroom when I needed it to. It was completely adorable but I would be lying if I told you it was fun. Don't think I'll ever sign up for that again. I'll leave you with a picture of one. Notice the way your heart will swell up and enjoy that feeling.

And another thing

This has no relevance to you and your life so I'm sorry but I HATE thunderstorms. And I don't hate them in the way you're supposed to. The way that you say you hate something but inwardly realize that hate is a strong word so you use the strongly dislike term. No, I HATE thunderstorms. A lot of white people like thunderstorms. I've met several who say "Oh I could sit out on my front porch and watch a thunderstorm all day!" I mean, what? Is your front porch the place where you would choose to die? That's essentially what you are saying. Last night a storm rolled in, with it being the second night in my entire life I chose to go to bed before 11. It was a bad one, too. I was one nuclear bomb sound away from crawling into Brittany's twin bed with her. If I thought she was awake I would have. Thunderstorms just ruin everything. The thunder is loud, the lightning is bright, they take out your power and reset your alarm clock, they take down trees, they scare your dogs, they scare your kids (in my parents case, you're 23 year old), they ruin your afternoon picnics and concerts. Maybe I'm dumb for being scared of them. But if they aren't scary then why do all the horror parts of horror movies happen with storms in the background? I'll be brave and say that 98% of humans are scared of spiders. Don't tell me you are scared of something that usually doesn't bite and crawls around in your ceiling corners in order to avoid you, but you sit outside in the lightning for fun? I would call you an idiot behind your back. One major thing I love in this life is sleep. And frequently, thunderstorms prevent sleep because they always come at completely inconvenient times. I've also learned that thunderstorms in no way discourage my crazy neighbors. They were still outside in the midst of it, yelling at each other in the street as usual.

quote of the day

In church this morning.

Pastor Ken: "I'm using Harry Potter as an example because Harry Potter is all over the news and facebook right now."

Ktb:"Harry Potter is on Facebook!?!? ADD ME!"

Choose the Tude

Its been a bad week and its Wednesday. I'm sleepy and grumpy and work is long and I always have 60 million things to do when I get home. But instead of whining about it, as is my usual routine, I'm going to think about good things. You can actually choose this. The things I'm thankful for are plenty and much better to focus on. Now sit back while I bore you with my list:

1. my big red sunglasses
2. chic-fil-a chicken strips and the cravings that they bring
3. a big hug from Tara, one of my youths I haven't seen in a while
4. getting to hang out at Critter Camp today. awesome
5. The rolled down window riding music of Jason Reeves
6. A new washer and dryer and the attractive maintenance man who installed both
7. Blogging because I have a lot to say
8. The brilliant writing of J.K. Rowling
9. Jesus and his reminder that I'm not as cool as I think I am
10. The thought of the day on our bathroom mirror


and especially for the quote of the day:
"Rock Hill isn't Narnia. We have to grow up." -Ktb

The World Above

I hate it when you can't get enough sleep and not even winning the lottery will make you happy until you do. I've been in a wretched mood for the last 24 hours, partly because I had to leave New York and partly because planes add to the tiredness of not sleeping good for 3 days. Incase you've been biting your toenails in anticipation, I'll give a little update on our trip. The highlight for me was the Little Mermaid on Broadway because it was magical. The whole show was splendid and we got to meet Drew Seely who plays Prince Eric. A little background on Drew Seely since you probably don't know who he is: He is the main character of "Another Cinderalla Story" (that abc family movie) and he co-wrote "Getcha Head in the Game" for high school musical AND played Troy in HSM the concert that toured the US a while back. So he's talented. More importantly, he's adorable and I love a man who can sing and dance. Another highlight was the food. Another highlight was Yankee Stadium. Obviously we didnt get to go to a game, they are at the Angels now, but my friends were kind enough to make the trek to the Bronx for me and it was wonderful! We did way more walking than my feet would have liked and it was a slam packed 3 days, but it was just as enjoyable as the last time I visited. Sure all the sites looked the same, but I just like traveling in general with people that I like. I love the city. Would I ever live there? Maybe if a kick awesome job required it. But I don't think I was made for big cities such as that. Some people are. Laura is. We saw someone we knew from Gaffney in China town. The airport guy checking our luggage at Laguardia was from Spartanburg, and two guys beside us at our cute lunch spot was talking about the serail killer! So I really didn't feel too far away given those activities. I also got to have dinner with Bickell and have lunch with Brandon and Ansley who live there now and who I rarely see. That was swell.

Getting back to the "real world" after a trip is really really hard. Especially on a small amount of sleep and when your legs still ache pretty badly. Tonight will be another late night, as I am going to see Harry Potter at midnight and I simply cannot wait. And after 2 weekends off, the summer marriage tour picks back up again Friday. All for now.

City with a capital c

I went to New York City once. I was young, it was 2 years ago. My stay was 6 days and 5 nights and I didn't get to see half of the wonderful things it had to offer me. The first draft of my "list" of things to do got much larger as the week went on. I don't have a list for this weekend(!!) but I do feel like it will be a more enjoyable experience because I've seen a few things already. I can just kinda catch up, ya know? Gaffney friends in New York for 3 days. Updates to follow this.

quote of the day

Laura: "Just passed a hitch hiker in front of the nursing home. I'm glad Gaffney is back to normal!"

You Remind Me of Home

I've sort of always wanted to live in the ghetto and I'm positive that this next year will quench that desire. I moved into the new house this week and well, it's in the ghetto. It's funny that the Casa de Fun Fun was in the nicest nighborhood in Rock Hill, but it's the most disfunctional house in the state of South Carolina. The new place is pretty much the opposite. Grace, Brittany, and I decided on the "Cabin" as our home name. It's a weird thing among my friends to name their houses and so the tradition lives on. I did not make up the definition stated below:

Cabin; n.
1. a room used as living quarters in a ship or boat
2. a small simple dwelling: a log cabin
3. the enclosed part of an aircraft in which the passengers or crew sit

I mean how perfect of a name is that? Grace loves boats and she's a pirate. Brittany is going to fly airplanes one day. I love the outdoors and camping. It's a beautiful thing. But how do I feel about moving out of the casa? The dwelling that has seen me through 2 crucial and emotional years in my life? I'll just save those emotions for later if you want to ask. I can tell you that I will not miss the random window units that supply small amounts of air in the summer. Or the oven that burns everything, or the heaters that don't give off any heat. And I especially won't miss my closet room with one outlet. I'm moving on to bigger horizons where I will do my laundry, the fridge will be cold, and my room has light purple walls which I already love waking up to. And I won't fail to mention that the company is going to completely rock. Cute furry pet included.

If you're a celebrity, I wouldn't go outside for a few days. geez.

The Ninety and Nine

I ate too many skittles and I can't go to sleep. Whether one is the direct result of the other, I'm not so sure.

If I were the twittering addict type and you were the follower of such tweets, your head would have spun from the number of things I did this week. Most days I went straight from work to Crocodile Dock also known as our Vacation Bible School. Greg and I started planning for this week in March and for it to be over is a sigh of relief and a sigh of good sadness. It felt like summer camp. Kids got saved. Kids who didn't ask of Jesus the offical request left knowing a little more about God and for that we must rejoice. Kids had fun and felt loved. After a week like that I can't understand WHY I would want to live for anything less than that. To live to serve the Lord and to long for others to do the same. When I think about the calling of a Christian and the cost that that entails it is a huge thing, it's intense. And if it hits me in the right way, it won't go down easily. It's meant to be intense and personal and crazy and the opposite of what I used to know. Most of the time I don't do it right. Most of the time my thoughts aren't right and my actions don't match my words. But the way God pursues us and won't stop until He gets us makes it all worth it. It makes answering that calling a possibility.

I'm reading up in Luke 15 about the lost sheep and I wonder how the sheep got lost in the first place. I mean did the little guy just see something better and left to get it instead? Or did the little guy just lose focus for just a while and didn't realize that the crew had left without him? All I know is that I used to be a sheep. And God didn't stop until He got me. He's not satisfied with 99. As I read through that this week, I realized that VBS would have been a success even with just one kid. If one kid came to our church for 3 hours a night it would have been worth it, and we wouldn't have done anything different.

quote of the day

10:25pm
Erica: "I want to do something to someones house."

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy

After a long day, I like to think about the things that I hate. Like when people SEE that you have sun burn on your arms and the way they start the conversation is "Whoa, you got sunburned..." and then BAM! They hit you in the arm or poke it and draw as much attention as possible to the fact that it's red and it stings. I can't tell you how many people I had that exact conversation with in church yesterday, and how amazingly my arms were even more red after church than before from people wanting to be funny and punch me. Dang it.

I also hate facebook chat. Really, I do. I get on just to see what someone kindly wrote on my wall and while I'm trying to write something completely random and stupid on your wall, you pop up and there goes my night. When I have nothing better to do I love it because most of my friends don't live within 100 miles of me anymore so it's good. But most days I just don't want to chat. And not only does it make that annoying sound, but it also takes me away from the page I was on and that's just frustrating. Don't get discouraged from me admitting this, it's just something I had to communicate. I also HATE waking up at 7:05 in the morning. You'd think I would just get over it after a year, but no. I hate it more every morning.

and you know how I feel about Cheez-it party mix, so I won't go there again.

How He Loves

We hiked up a Mountain sunday night and it was beautiful at the top. I looked out over the smallness of everything I saw and wondered WHY God did that? Why did he make things so beautiful for a world that is so gross and broken? We sat on the very edge of the top with our feet hanging and we just enjoyed the weather and laughed a lot. When I think about the people I get to spend my time with I wonder why He loves me despite how gross and broken I am. It's the most simple things in my walk with Jesus that will always amaze me and it's the most simple things I will have to learn over and over again. I think the most wonderul things in the world are the things you just can't quite figure out. The things you don't understand, the questions that you can't answer yourself. Jesus and what he does makes no sense. It aint normal, people. It's rediculous and strange and overwhelming and not easy to get a hold of. He is the exact opposite of who I am and He loves me enough to give me this life that I've done absolutely nothing to deserve. He gives me chances continually and I can pick up right where I left off and that love never quits. I don't think about this fact as often as I should. We say Jesus loves us so many times because thats what Christianity is based on, but I never really take the time to look at my life and see the tons and tons of proof that He actually does. He does!

Things and Things

I told you (or maybe I didnt) that I would update you concerning my summer to-do list. I've sanded my rocking chair and I have the paint, I just need the time to do it. And seeing as how a little time to myself seems to never be a possibility, we'll see how long it'll take. I did in fact go to a Charlotte Knights baseball game last night. Me and my long lost college classmate Amy, hit up a slow Wednesday night game where we got good seats, a visit from another sport management classmate who promises us free tickets for the rest of the season, a picture with Homer the Dragon, and a FREE funnel cake from a fellow yankees fan. The team itself is pretty terrible, but the experience is really relaxing with good summer weather. The company was swell too. It's so great to spend time with someone who you literally have everything in common with, and my pal Amy is that person. All of my closest and best friends are wonderful, but let's be honest, I don't have hardly anything in common with some of them. And that too, is a good thing!

Today I am celebrating my 1 year annivesary with the Parks and Rec department. It's also my beautiful friend Brooke's 23rd birthday and I'm proud of her! I am also unoficially officially enrolled in graduate school. I say that because I'm in 3 classes for the fall. Legal Issues in sport and fitness administration, statisticcal analysis & design of physial activity, and financial management of fitness and athletic programs. whew. For that to be only 9 hours of class, that sure is a mouth full. 600 level courses, watch your back cause I'm bout to take you all down.

What results from a bad day, etc.

Christians annoy the crap out of me. Sunday morning is definetly the best part of my week. I love being with the youth in sunday school and singing good songs and listening and learning in the sermon and seeing a lot of people that I really just love all in one room. Today was not that kind of day. There are days that I walk into church and listen to the sermons and talk to all the smiling people and sing all the songs and I feel like every bit of it is fake. I feel like we've created some really annoying bubble that only a certain type of person can enter into, and we have all these words and phrases that we use that dont seem to match up anywhere. We just talk about things a lot. As I'm writing this I also want to add in that I hate books that talk about how much the American church is lacking today. I mean of course the church is lacking. It is a big room slam packed with sinners. So I don't want to be one of those kids. I am well pleased with my church in fact. I guess there's no real point to what I'm saying, I just want to say things because it's my blog and I can. We Christians try to figure everything out and we think we're right about everything and we take scripture out of context when it agrees with our point, and then again when it disproves the point someone else is trying to make and we don't like it. Christianity is not simple, and I'm not trying to make the point that it is. I just think that our little God bubble that we want to all be protected from the world in adds a lot of things to what it means to follow Christ. Lots of extra phrases and books and 10-step programs. YES I want to go into the field of business one day and NO I don't intend on going to hell for it. Money is not evil, the love of it is. So I'm over it and I dig Jesus.

I might go back and delete this post when I stop being emo for a day.

Just a Mid-day Assessment

I haven't decided (and please dont decide for me because it would affect my self-esteem) if my constant need to be in charge is a good or bad thing. Take my job for example. I have a boss. A boss who is way cool and she's been doing her job for 19 years. I am in fact the lowest on the food chain in the PRT department, and I think I'm good with authority figures and submitting to them. But sometimes I just think I would do things in a better and more efficient way. The reasons why I want to get my masters degree are several, and among those reasons is the fact that I want to be in charge one day. I want to be the manager, the boss. I figure if you are stuck in a job for the majority of your short life, you might as well be dang good at it, amen? Without doing a pointless amount of work, I really like to learn. And if I do something I want to learn ALL there is to know about that thing. I think that's my main reason for going back to school. Because I want to learn more, and be better at what I hope to do someday. Some call that a power trip. I call it wanting to do well in life. And when I one day own you and the Super Bowl champion Carolina Panthers, you'll say "dang. she was right."

I also don't like how many pretzels they put into cheez-it party mix. Hello if i wanted THAT many, I would have just bought a bag of pretzels.

Summer Lovin

As it turns out, I will probably have one of the most boring summers of my life this time around. But I've come up with an uncompleted list of fun to complete throughout the hot months so that it's not that way. You could come with me.

1. Paint my newly aquired rocking chair for the front porch of the new house. If you like to paint, help.
2. Learn how to make an Omelet.
3. Continue the "All of my friends are getting married" summer 2009 tour.
4. Learn the F chord.
5. Go for a run most afternoons.
6. Pick strawberries at the farm in Fort Mill. Then eat em.
7. Go back to Huntington for camping.
8. Spend a whole day at the beach surfing.
9. Start a tan. I'm way behind for it to be May already.
10. Take a random day off work and watch nothing but musicals all day.
11. Eat at the new chic-fil-a in Gaffney.
12. Midnight showing of the new Harry Potter.
13. Get mad creative and start writing my book.
14. Get better at golf, which will take up a good chunk of my time.
15. Go to a Knight's baseball game since I aint never been.

quote of the day

Gaffney Friends.

Laura: "I actually ate mexican for about every meal everyday, im excited about having our american mexican (broncos) tomorrow!"

Me: "Mexican every meal? thats what heaven will be!"

Laura: "And this was REAL mexican. like no white people worked there."

Come on friends get up now. Love is to be made.

Things ended today. But before you think I'm lame, I realize that I am actually lame for putting any sort of emotional thought into a tv show. Hey if you watched Grey's Anatomy, you too would feel the empty hole where your heart was prior to 9:00pm. It was the 2 part season finale and I cried after the first hour. After the second hour i was just too mad/shocked that they potentially killed off 2 of the best characters on the show. The last hour was about telling people that you love them and that you can't breathe without them while they are still here and they can hear you. As cheesey as it is, it's so true and it ripped my insides out so shutup.

The Pirates soccer season ended tonight which was close to being just as emotional. I had a really great group of kids this time around, and not because we won all but 3 games. I mean of course I liked that part. But they were all so cool and loved playing soccer and always wanted to learn. Getting to teach kids how to do the one thing that I LOVED growing up really is a joy to be able to do. I remember soccer being my outlet growing up and the thing that I really focused hard on and it taught me how to work hard and to be part of a team. So I'm glad I get to coach kids and hopefully put them on a similar path. I've found that I really like teaching people something that I'm passionate about. Not that I'm terribly good at it. Teaching is always a work in progress. But i really get a kick out of it. Pun intended i guess.

I was born to tell you I love you

I love it when scripture talks about nature doing things. Like in Psalm 98 that says, "Let the rivers clap their hands, let the mountains sing together for joy." I went camping with the youth group this weekend and we had a BIG time. We accidentally left most of the food in Rock Hill and I might have a semi-broken toe and the rain flooded our tent a little, but it was great being outside! I don't really get a big high from being out in nature and hanging out with spiders, I mean it's cool and all. But I do like getting away from everything. I'm a big star watcher when I get the opportunity. I read that on average, in 1 square inch of the Amazon jungle, there are 3,000 different species of trees. The average elm tree has 6 million leaves, and a caterpillar has 228 seperate and distinct muscles just in it's HEAD. I mean who makes that stuff up? I am definetly not that detailed. When I'm outside I like to look around and see just how detailed our Creator is and get a strong humbling feeling out of it. God created all of these things out in nature and all of these billions of galaxies and it's all to praise him. Oceans stop and start in a certain place to praise him, trees and plants grow and die to praise him, and he called it all GOOD for a reason. And here we are as humans, created for that very same thing. I'm usually reminded everytime I spend a good amount of time outside that maybe I was given life for the same purpose that all these other things were. To bring praise to the God who deserves it and that's all. I mean the God who created all these things is for some reason concerned with me. He was extremely detailed when He thought me up. hmmm.

quote of the day

I was looking through an old journal the other day and it was the one I had 2 summers ago at Rockfish. I found a quote from one of my 7 year old campers that I need to share. We were eating sour skittles.

"I used to hate sour things when I was younger, but now I just see it as a challenge."

A thought before bed

"You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled."
-Joshua 23:14

As laid back as I would like to think I am, I sure do worry a lot. In most situations I am more laid back than I should be but I worry about the things I can't control. Why do I do that? Maybe it's because I'm a girl. Maybe it's because this world sucks. Maybe it's because 600 Americans die every year from falling out of bed in the morning (and that is a true fact people). Maybe it's because I'm just human in general. I feel like if I started to look at worry as a sin, because it is, I would be less likely to do it. I like this verse in Josh because it talks about God's promises and I could stand to be reminded of at least a few of those every day. holler.

Today

I never eat breakfast, but the Chic-fil-a on cherry was having free chicken biscuit morning so I just had to take advantage. So I woke up half an hour early and drove myself to my biscuit listening to old school audio adrenaline really loudly. I didn't have to wait in the drive-thru at all, and the nice young man who had my sweet tea waiting for me at the window said as I was driving off, "it was good to see you this morning!" I mean, who does that? The people at the cherry road chic-fil-a thats who. And because I didn't have to wait in line and the man wan was so nice and efficient, I was actually early to work (and that just doesnt happen in my life). When I got to work, my boss straight handed me $10 for being "safe at work" this month! I love getting $10. I got a 15 minute lunch break today, but after work I got to hold some brand-newish kittens that the outlet girls found in their backyard and that was a lot like being in love im sure. Good day.

Vacancy for God

We're closing in on Real Sex, the book we are going through in bible study. It's been a really great study and a fantastic book. Chapter 8 is about singleness and I figure I'll share some of what I thought was interesting...

"Perhaps we ought not fixate on the call to lifelong singleness. Some people, of course, are called to lifelong singleness, but more of us are called to singleness for a spell, if even a very long spell. Often, our task is to discern a call to singleness for right now, and that's not so difficult. If you are single right now, you are called, right now, to be single. Called to live single life as robustly, and gospel-conformingly as you possibly can. The problem comes when the assumption that these are lifelong callings creeps in--panicked single folks think they must discern, at some given age on some given date, whether or not they are called to singleness forever."

"In marriage, it is tempting to look to one's spouse to meet all one's needs. But those who live alone, without the companionship and rigor of marriage and sex, are offered an opportunity to realize that it is God who sustains them. In singleness we see not only where our true dependence lies, but also who and what our real family is. Singleness reminds Christians that the church is our primary family. Baptsimal vows are prior to wedding vows."

The best of both worlds

As my faithful reader, you know that I have done a great deal of growing up lately. I have to like pay all these bills by myself and I have a real 40 hour a week job and I go to bed somewhat early and stuff. Responsibility is crazy. But this weekend I was home in Gaffney and I saw two very fantastic movies. I saw Monsters vs. Aliens with Erin and we were the only people in the theater laughing really loudly. I mean I think the kids thought some stuff was funny, but us 22 year olds just cracked up the whole time. Then on sunday night I saw the Hannah Montana movie and it changed my life for the most part. There's this really fun hoedown dance, Rascal Flatts just show up and sing on the front porch, and Miley and Tyra Banks fight over shoes. It's just fantastic! I walked right out of that theater feeling like a 9 year old girl. And not that I particularly wish to be that age ever again, I just like to be silly sometimes, and finding enjoyment out of things like the Disney Channel helps me keep my brain. But for reals, people grow up too fast sometimes I think. You need to stay up till 3am every once in a while. You need to see a crappy teen movie, and you need to learn a dance to a musical. If not, you'll just wake up one morning wondering where your life went and why it's not fun anymore. I'm not in college anymore, and I sure as heck don't pretend like I am, but I do like to have some fun along the way to growing up. And yes, graduate school is a different type of school and I am fully prepared to realize that it's hard work and I can't goof off like I did for the most part in undergrad. Some people take themselves too seriously and If you are that person, I feel sorry for you. Come over to my house and we can watch Phineas and Ferb because I do have it on dvd. I don't really know where this rant is coming from. Part of it is from the current life of my job with elementary school kids, coaching youth soccer, and teaching the youth group sunday school class. All of those things not allowing me the option of growing up too terribly fast. And the other part I'm certain is coming from the Hannah Montana movie soundtrack.

Jesus

I reckon I'll chat a bit about Easter since us Christians think it's kind of a big deal. I feel as if every year I get really pumped about the resurrection of Jesus and I get down on myself for getting that pumped up once a year. Maybe twice a year, cause Christmas can be popular on that topic too. I always mention how I take the cross and all that it entails for granted and it's true. I do that every single day unfortunately. But when I really think about it, lately, the reality of what happened on the cross has been the most pressing thing on my mind. I haven't neglected the thought or taken it for granted or called it a simple topic. I've been so burdened the past few weeks and months really, about how very much I need it. How the cross is all I have and Jesus' opinion is all that matters and how His direction is all I want to follow. I don't usually wake up smiling and dancing in the mornings and I don't have as many friends here and I certainly feel lonely on a daily basis living at the house by myself. But at the end of the day when work, meetings, soccer practices, hang out time is over I finally sit and God reminds me that He's all I've got. He reminds me that hope for the next day isn't even possible without Him. and dang. That feels good!

Go spread the news, and don't forget your shoes

Good days haven't been easy to come by lately, but I found one yesterday. I just have some really awesome friends who I don't tell often enough how totally rad they are. Thursday nights are always a hoot cause Grace, Kerin and I watch Grey's Anatomy and then join some others for the office after that. We've also made a ritual McDonald's run on thursdays and weird things always happen. The first time we went it took us like 10 minutes to order and the cashier lady got kind of angry. 3 college grads trying to order off the dollar menu. It was hard. Then last week we took a bigger group and we ordered $10 worth of dollar menu items and this time we encountered some static issues over the intercom which you just had to be there to understand. Then last night we decided to go to the new and improved one on Cherry rd. We ordered 6 apple pies and 2 cokes and we sat in the drive-thru parking space for like 32 minutes. I laughed all night. Really I did. My friends make me laugh when I need it that's for sure. Heck even when I don't need it.

Chris gave me a whole box of Dunkaroos as payment for the sticky note parking ticket I gave him. Brandi lets me do laundry at her house. Ktb and Brooke were together in Raleigh and they called me. I had spontaneous dinner with Erica at one of our favorite places. I don't know how I came to have such fabulous friends who are so fun to be around and who make living by myself a lot more bearable than it is.

quote of the day

In reference to Laguna Beach:

"and i didn't realize but they graduated class of 04....tell me that if we are grads with LC, Lo, and Stephen collette then we are so awesome."
-Amanda Mathis

And in the end, the words won't matter

"Grow where you're planted." That is such a cliche christian phrase. To me it means be content wherever God has put you. Yea yea I've heard it a million times and for about 13 seconds per year, I actually think about it and put it into practice. The preacher man touched on that a little bit Sunday and when he finished talking about that little phrase, I thought to myself, "Crap. I really have to do that!" Ya see, in my current situation, if I don't do that now I'm going to be miserable for a really long time and I don't really want that for myself. Most of you know that I passionately HATE having a routine. Going to the same job and having the same afternoon plans and even hanging with the same group of friends ALL the time drives me absolutely nuts. So last week all of that got to me because I had all of those things in a routine and I had pretty much decided to buy a big dog and move to Europe and live in my tent. Every day at work I thought to myself, "grad school is on the horizon. I just need to make it through the summer and I'll be on to something better." And then when I actually got my brain back, I realized that grad school probably won't make me any happier. It will probably just stress me out even more and I'll be ready to move on to my next adventure after writing my first paper. With all of my friends getting married and stuff I think that'll be really cool and that next step in life will be really exciting and I can't wait for that adventure! Well, that won't make me truly happy either. For several months now, I've felt like I'm stuck in this place where I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like everything is just kind of "in between." Well, enough of that. There is no "in betweens" in life. I don't think. The Lord wants me to be content in life, period. I'm not saying that everything in life is meaningless. Just stating the idea that if I'm not content in where I'm at right now, I won't be when the next thing comes around either.

But lets be honest, all that content stuff sucks. Because like every good thing in life, contentment is hard to come by and I can promise you I won't wake up tomorrow singing showtunes on my way to work. But not knowing His plans, yet trusting that they ARE good gets me on the right track to somewhere better. If I go through any part of my short little life waiting on the next big thing, I'll be thouroughly dissapointed over and over and over. No thanks.

Don't be afraid cause I won't keep track

I'm not one to overly complain or harp on a bad day, but when you have just an entire, flat out, no good week, I feel like I need to do just that. First of all it was REALLY long. Most weeks are only 7 days long. I feel like it should be the Wednesday after next by now. We didnt have bible study this week because some of the girls are on spring break. Bible study is a good and encouraging way to jump start the week usually, but I went without it this time. There is a young college-ish band called MyCalvary that lately plays all of FBC Gaffney's youth retreats. I only heard them a few times and the kids in it were all really great as far as I'd gotten to know them over the past couple of years. Tuesday morning Brandon, one of the members died in a car wreck. And even though I didn't know Brandon that well personally, it still hurts me to see everyone in my home church community be torn up and hurt over it all. And it makes me sick to think that he was even younger than me and how he died from something simple that we do everyday like driving. I also think the kids at work knew I was having a rough week and decided to see just how mad they could make me and how far they could run with my patience. And boy were they right on if that was their mission. It was probably the worst week at work yet as far as that goes, and every day got worse it seemed. Enough of that.

On the better side, my soccer team decided on the PIRATES as our team name this season! The Pipeline Pirates. At the end of practice on Tuesday we all put our hands in and yelled a big "Arrrrgh!" How adorable is that? Seriously. My team is awesome this season because, well, they know how to spell the word soccer. They are so much more attentive and they are actually understanding the whole soccer is a team sport concept. It's gonna be good.

Two weeks ago in church, we were singing this song about the Cross and at the end Christabell simply said, "the cross is all we have isnt it?" And that thought has constantly come up in my mind this week. Because no matter how angry or annoyed or tired I am, He is all I've got and the truth of the Cross is way better than everything good or bad about this life. I'm kind of jealous of Brandon.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."

-Psalm 63:3

Madness!!

As if I weren't already, I will be unusually concerned with the TV and espn.com in the coming weeks. Thursday is the first round of the NCAA tournament and until March 28th, it's all about March Madness. For the past 4 years I've planned my entire spring break around Winthrop's first round game but sadly this year I don't have much planning to do. Winthrop didn't make it, nor do I get a spring break so it all works out. But I will be watching my Duke Blue Devils who are the current ACC champions! and a #2 seed in the tournament. I will also be pulling for Michigan for the first time ever as they play Clemson on Thursday. My other passionately hated team is North Carolina, who plays Radford in the first round on Thursday. Radford beat Winthrop and everyone else in the conference out for the Big South Tournament this season, and while I wish it was Winthrop instead of Radford, I have to laugh because they have no chance against North Carolina.

December is probably my favorite month with Christmas and all. July is a close second because it defines summer. But March is a joyful month of the year for sports fans and I'm happy. Go Blue Devils!

We could run away, thinking it over

Lately this weather has me sort of discontent. A good kind though. I don't want to be in Rock Hill, I don't want to be even 100 miles from the office. I want to be camping or at the beach or both. Unfortunately I don't have a free weekend to do such things for as long as I've looked ahead in my calendar. Things are busy, but not necessarily a bad type of busy. Things at work are picking up really fast and soccer season starts this week and church duties never end and the house search i can see will be a task in addition. While in college I took trips every weekend and saw lots of good people and good things but I don't really do that anymore. There really aren't enough weekends in a year.

This week apparently is spring break for winthrop kids and I realized this is the first time in like 18 years I haven't had a spring break. Even though I didn't get a full one last year because of my internship, I still went to the beach so that counted. I guess it just shocks me because I got a week off at Christmas, so that wasn't terribly different. But man it's kind of depressing. Along with the many other things that I've found depressing as I've lately grown up. When I own the Carolina Panthers one day, the company will take a mandantory spring break in late April.

It's a close call, but I think Spring Oreos are better than the Halloween ones.

It's too hot for penguins

I mean how great is South Carolina? It snowed on Monday and it's been 75ish degrees this saturday and sunday! That is the very reason I love the south, but our state in particular. I do love New York and the big city-ness, but only for a few days at a time. Even though their summers are hot, it's too cold for too long. We have a nice long span of warm weather for a good amount of time, and usually we avoid the path of hurricanes or too many tornados or tidal waves. So yea, I love living here. But this morning in church I realized mentally I'm best suited for California or somewhere cool like that maybe. We had a really great pastor preachin in church this morning. And the way he talked about the church and what the world has made of it and what Christians have made of it, makes me want to leave the south, which in my opinion is where you'll find the heart of most issues. I wouldn't consider myself a liberal thinker, by however that word is truly defined. But with the southern baptist church being where I got most of my religious influence, I feel like my opinion can have some personal credibility. The church that I've been attending for 3 years now is not perfect. Shocking. In fact, I have had several thoughts of moving to another church, most of those thoughts within the past few months as we've searched for a new pastor. The former pastor was wonderful and it's taken a really long time to find a new one and that has bugged me. Not that I have many consistency issues, but not knowing what you're gonna get or who you're gonna get each sunday will make you tired as a church-goer. But within recent weeks of really trying to understand what a church is, I find that it's not about pastors or youth groups or vbs or coffee. It's about community. And not just the type of community where everyone has their part and each part does IT'S part, and then it stops there. Even though that is true, our "part" individually doesn't stop inside the church walls and it's not confined by a certain ministry or bible study or sunday school class. Sometimes churches today have it right when they say everyone in it has gifts and we should each use them to unite the body, but then it ends with that.

I was so convicted this morning in all the talk about what a church is and the difference in what the culture has made it and what Jesus desires it to be. I was convicted in a way that I haven't been in a really long time about how I treat other people, believers and non-believers. How I really use the gifts the Lord has given me and just how far that reaches. We are very set in our ways in most churches. I've attended churches before that have tons of programs with little or no effect on anyone as a result. Those programs and activities please the Christians. Not that I think this is different in all churches in California. I just use that as an example because I lived there for 10 weeks and the spiritual conversations were very different than they are here. I talked to people who literally have NO idea what you're talking about when you say the name Jesus. And here in the south we have this Christian culture that pretends like it's ok to go to church but you can live however you choose. I know this because I've been a part of it for 9 years now. I hate books that just throw out all these things that are wrong with the church, so I'm trying to avoid that here. Truth is the church is a bunch of sinners and it would be better if we acted like it sometimes I do beleive. This idea of loving unlovable people, people who are significantly different than I am, makes me want to get out of this state. Makes me want to spend my Sunday mornings on Blackmon Rd in the trailor park rather than inside the perfectly constructed church walls. That also goes for those churches full of twenty-somethings who meet under a tree. Some churches might meet inside a run-down high school building or a tent, but still have those selfish and close-minded attitudes because their focus is coolness instead of Jesus and his desire for the world.

Rant! sorry. but not really.

Can I get an Amen?

You know I had to update on the 30-hour Famine so here it is. Friday was a horrible day at work and I felt an unreasonable amount of stress from the lack of sleep I got the whole week because of all the work that had to be done for the weekend. So I wasn't feeling so peachy going into the church Friday night. But as I knew I would, I snapped right out of it and we had a fantastic weekend! I was really surprised by how mature the youth were. I know those two words typically don't go together, but we had some great discussions and they were really into it. On saturday morning we went to Blackmon Road, here in rock hill and took clothes to some of the homeless people out there. We got to give them clothes and pray with them and hang out with some kids all while it was flooding rain. It was really cool. For most of us, including myself, it was so unreal to see how bad the conditions are just a few miles from where we live. Rock Hill is the 3rd largest city in South Carolina, and in that particular area (among others) they don't have running water or electricity. Something is wrong with that, to be one of the biggest cities in the state. Over the weekend we played "tribal games" which were aimed at getting us to think about the lack of food around the world, as well as just to have some fun. We had great discussions about the food situations around the world and we really got slapped in the face with the realization that we have it made here in America. People say that everyday but taking a weekend to give up food and help others really drove it home. The 30 hour fast wasnt that bad. I think it was the 3 hours of sleep and 24 hours of running around the church that wore me out. We all took communion at the end, and for that bread to be the first thing you swallow after 30 hours just broke me all to peices. And it was awesome!

Another thing that was encouraging about the weekend was the realization that we (as in the church) have nothing to offer these young people really. I mean, we had an acoustic guitar for worship and we chose to sit on the floor to do most of the teaching and discussions. No praise band, no "professional" teachers, no huge church to play tons of games. That little detail got me fired up for youth ministry because ministry is what God makes of it, not all those other things that the culture around us seem to add on. And if this youth group grows to 700 students and we get David Crowder to do a concert for us one day, then that will be splendid. But until that day, the Lord will be pleased with what we do because that is our prayer for the ministry. God really taught me a lot in 24 hours not only about how rich I really am, but how much he satisfies me. He will take care of every need I have and I'm so helpless without Him.

In a sidenote: the pastor that took us on our outreach told me he was going to pray for me a boyfriend. Amen!

Greater things are yet to be done

Have I ever put out a prayer request on my blog before? Well, here is one. So the youth group at Manchester will be doing the 30-hour Famine this weekend. We are doing a lock-in for 24 hours at the church, with lots and lots of fun things going on! This is probably the most excited I've ever gotten over a youth event, mainly because I know how great of an experience it will be for everyone involved. I've also never done THIS much planning for an event before. I think I've taken on entirely too much, including giving the final teaching saturday night as well as worship. Teaching and playing guitar being the two of my weakest gifts as far as "leading" any kind of anything in the church. So, I'm on the border line of stressed out currently, and to top it all off I get to starve for 30 hours. I've only had this feeling a couple of times in my life honestly. One of those gut feelings that no matter how much you plan or how much worry you put into it, God is going to blow it up. I feel like I'm going to get a complete slap in the face over the weekend. A bed time doesn't exist, the wake up call for me will be 6am, and no food. Rock on Jesus.

The prayer request part would be for the youth. A couple of them have done a famine before, and others have no idea what they've signed up for. I just want everyone there to be so empitied and to come to realize even a little bit that only God satisfies us when we are. I really want the point of fasting for 30 hours to sink in and for them to understand WHY they are doing it, instead of it just being a weekend of fun. Also pray I don't die. From teenagers, not starving.